Paternity Leave Rant

[FlamesAddiction]

I'm sitting here at my work desk (working late again) just fuming about something I see as work place double standard. I'll try to explain...

One of my co-workers (call him "Joe") recently had a baby, and as is his right in the Province of Ontario, he decided to take a paternity leave. That's fine and it didn't bother me in itself, even if his wife is a writer for television show and works from home anyway, but I digress... I can see why a new father would want to be close to home for the first bit.

The problem is that he left me a tonne of work that should have been done. In fact, I cancelled my summer holidays and am taking them in the fall now because I know that I am going to be drowning in work in July and August. I was talking to my boss today and commented that I was really busy, but that at least I could hand back the work when "Joe" gets back from paternity leave in August. She then told me that it wasn't a good idea because she knew that after she had her kids, all she wanted to do was get home on time everyday to make sure everything was fine and that "Joe" will not have the extra afterhours time needed to manage these projects (and as many "billable" jobs are, you often work a 10 hour day just to be billable for 8). Then she told me that he is also taking a 2 week vacation just 5 days after he comes back... after I cancelled mine in order to take on his clients.

Does anyone else feel that having children should not give you special treatment or more rope at your job? From my perspective, I doubt that I will ever have kids due to a medical issue with my wife, but the thing that gets me in that it seems like people think that because I don't have children, that I don't have a life or that my private time is less valuable.

Before anyone says it, I actually do like my job and the people I work with, and I also doubt that it is different anywhere else. I'm just ranting because it feels good to get it out I guess.

[return to the red]

I have a co-worker who is always showing up for work a little later, leaves a little earlier and takes off at random points during the day to do stuff for his kids so I know how frustrating it can be.

The problem you have is the inability to say "#### it, if they are doing it i'm gonna do it" I used to have this same problem and still feel guilty doing it but in the end pretty sure I can live with myself at the end of the day.

[TheGrimm]

I get what you are feeling.. But as a self employed individual, I am simply jealous of your co-worker.

There are all kinds of people out there, can't get angry at a guy for using a benefit provided to him by our fine government. He did put you in a bad situation, but were I in his place I'd be tempted to do the same. Fatherhood is kind of a big deal.

[moncton golden flames]

/\ the grimm..... how can you say the co-worker on leave put flamesaddiction in a bad spot. i believe it's the employer who did that, not the father.

sounds like your employer is not properly covering for an absent employee, and you have to face the consequences. raw deal, but not his fault at all.

[REDVAN]

Originally Posted by return to the red

I have a co-worker who is always showing up for work a little later, leaves a little earlier and takes off at random points during the day to do stuff for his kids so I know how frustrating it can be.

The problem you have is the inability to say "#### it, if they are doing it i'm gonna do it" I used to have this same problem and still feel guilty doing it but in the end pretty sure I can live with myself at the end of the day.

More people need to learn this. Do your job. If you 're not enjoying your work (aka if they don't pay you enough) then start looking for another job with higher pay or at least where you'll be respected more.

[normtwofinger]

Sounds like you need to have a baby. Just look at the perks your co-worker is getting.

[bradster57]

Agreed, probably not his fault. Bring it up with your supervisor so they can help you with support or another employee. Often times if you don't speak up, nobody will notice.

[The Yen Man]

What you should say is that you're taking a week off to tend to a sick puppy at home. I swear, people at work eat that crap up. If you have kids or a pet, you're afforded special treatment.

What I don't understand is, how come its ok for a person to take a sick day to tend to their kids, yet I can't take one to take my parents (who barely speak English) for a doctor's appointment? Is it not the same thing?

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Anybody who goes on mat leave and just leaves a pile of paperwork on their desk is a ######. I think the bigger problem is that your employer expects you to handle the extra work. Your employer should have hired someone to cover for Joe.

Same thing with cancelling your holidays, I know it is easy for me to sit here and critique, but why would you cancel? If Joe didn't finish any of his work I'm sure your employer can reprimand him accordingly, although I imagine that's tricky with him being off on leave.

Are you under some obligation to finish Joe's work? Why would you even volunteer to do it? What kind of ####ty boss would say that Joe now has less responsiblity to his clients just because he has kids?


I do totally agree with you about the having kids thing and time off. It seems any of my coworkers with kids are allowed unlimited time for doctor's appointments and other crap.

[Senator Clay Davis]

He's definitely being a little selfish going right back on vacation. Could he not find time for a little vacation during his paternity leave (itself, somewhat of a vacation)?

[Larry MacDonald]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

Anybody who goes on mat leave and just leaves a pile of paperwork on their desk is a ######. I think the bigger problem is that your employer expects you to handle the extra work. Your employer should have hired someone to cover for Joe.

Same thing with cancelling your holidays, I know it is easy for me to sit here and critique, but why would you cancel? If Joe didn't finish any of his work I'm sure your employer can reprimand him accordingly, although I imagine that's tricky with him being off on leave.

Are you under some obligation to finish Joe's work? Why would you even volunteer to do it? What kind of ####ty boss would say that Joe now has less responsiblity to his clients just because he has kids?

Agreed, you shouldnt have to cancel your vacation to tend to this. If you end up losing clients because he didnt do his work and your boss didnt hire someone to replace him, it's not on you, it's on him

[Dion]

Tell your boss you are not cancelling your summer vacation. It will become thier problem to deal with any unfinished work. To expect you to do your work and then Joes, plus cancell your summer vacation is not being fair to you.

[photon]

I don't like the idea of "work to rule", but sometimes employers will come to expect extra effort because they know I'll put in extra effort, or because they can't afford to get enough people to cover the work load, or whatever. I don't think it's always malicious (i.e. it's not like they're trying to squeeze every hour possible), but I don't think it's right either.

I don't mind someone getting special treatment in a situation like that (or in a situation like Yen Man says, taking parents to doctors and such), because usually they're the exception and not the rule.. it's not like people have kids every month.

But the employer should be flexible as well and recognize the extra effort others will have to put in to compensate.

Maybe talk to them and say you're willing to put in the extra hours and effort, but because it's over and above what is reasonable, see if they'll give you extra vacation credit for the extra work or something.

It's one thing to go above and beyond for a week or two in crunch time, it's another thing to have it expected and have to be for an extended period; the employer should recognize that you're doing more than your fair share and do something about it.

If they don't, well if you showed up and the time you're supposed to show up and left after your 8 hours regardless of how much was done, if everything doesn't get done then it's not your fault, it's their fault for not having enough bodies to cover the workload.

[TheGrimm]

Yup.. The fact you are being forced to bump your holidays is bush league for sure.

[shermanator]

What I find is that too many people don't have the ability to say "no" at their job. I will gladly take on extra responsibilities when asked, but I also know my limit. I might be over-simplifying it, but I would rather say no than burn out.

Not sure how your boss would handle this conversation, but you could bring up the fact that your co-worker is paid to do a certain job, and they should be doing said job.

[GGG]

Kids have been deemed by sociecty as an essential component for the future of our society. The entire basis of retirement is based on there being a generation of people to fill the jobs neccessary to provide you with everything you need. People to buy your house and all of the investments you made. Without anyone having kids the whole system falls apart. So there should be some accomadation for parents with kids as they are required for society.

I think the biggest problem in your case is that your employer doesn't recognize that they need to provide coverage for leaves of absense. Your co-worker should also have been much more considerate in wrapping up work and handing it over to you in a nice package. But to me the main fault lies in your employer not having a temporary replacement for him.

[Ozy_Flame]

^^^ Immigrants can replace kids. End of story.

[photon]

Some companies are too small or some jobs just don't lend themselves to being able to hire a temporary replacement (some jobs bringing in someone to cover would actually make it worse lol), so I get an employer needing someone to step up and go beyond, but yeah they should definitely be asking and doing things to express gratitude rather than just assuming it'll get done.

[J pold]

How busy are you if you are able to write out long winded rants on CP?

For the record I agree with the double standard and agree that having children should not afford you special treatment. Why should it? 80% of people do it.

[bizaro86]

Originally Posted by J pold

How busy are you if you are able to write out long winded rants on CP?

That post was written at 6:24 in Ontario. If he needs to be at work past 6 and that wasn't previously part of his job, he might have a point.