Lending friends and family money - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

puckluck · 11-11-2011, 10:21 AM

So what is your guys policy on this?

Recently a friend asked to borrow money to go on a vacation he can't afford to go on. I'll usually always lend friends and family money as long as I think they are in a position to pay it back. This guy lives pay check to pay check and he is a good friend, but the money he's asking for is pretty significant(in the thousands).

The last time I let a friend borrow a significant amount of money it took him 2 years to pay me back and that was only after he recieved an insurance settlement. I think I learned not to lend money to people who really will not be able to pay it back.

He's pissed off that I'm not going to lend him money, but he wants money to go on a vacation that he can't afford to go on. I don't see how he is going to be in a position to pay me back anytime soon. If he needed money because he was gong to be evicted or to put food on the table I would lend him money in a heartbeat, but that's not the case.

I feel like I'm being a bad friend, but I also feel like I'm doing the right thing.

Kybosh · 11-11-2011, 10:24 AM

If even my best friends or family asked me to pay for their vacation, I would tell them to pound sand.

Roof-Daddy · 11-11-2011, 10:25 AM

If he can't afford to pay for a vacation, he shouldn't go on the damn vacation. That's ridiculous IMO.

Maybe he should put in some extra time at work instead FFS.

CofR · 11-11-2011, 10:26 AM

I don't think it makes you a bad friend at all... If anything you're helping teach him some responsibility.

That being said, I can understand the pressure of not wanting to disappoint him, but I wouldn't feel comfortable lending money to one of my friends if they lived in a situation like you described.

Frank MetaMusil · 11-11-2011, 10:26 AM

He'll get over it, if he doesn't he's not much of a friend. I'll lend my friends money if they are in absolute dire straits (divorce, injury, accident, etc) but in a case like yours, the guy can just take a hike. You aren't a bank.

ken0042 · 11-11-2011, 10:26 AM

Have you already told him you have that much in savings available? If not- the easy answer is "Sorry- I don't have that kind of money available. I would have to borrow it myself to lend to you."

Personally they only time I lent a friend 4 figures; it was a friend who I had routinely lent and borrowed back and forth hundreds at a time. And that $1000 loan was for some immigration stuff for his family (which is pretty important), and not a vacation.

Tell him to go to Wells Fargo. (Formerly Trans Canada Credit) They will lend anybody money. (at 33% of course.)

FlamesAddiction · 11-11-2011, 10:27 AM

I never lend money to anyone close to me unless I can be prepared to write it off. Family relationships are too important to let money get in the way.

FlameOn · 11-11-2011, 10:29 AM

Nothing wrong with it. If he can't afford to go on vacation he shouldn't be going on vacation. Live within your means... There's no way he can justify asking someone for money for something like this.

JiriHrdina · 11-11-2011, 10:29 AM

If I had a friend that needed money for a really good reason I would do it - but for a vacation? No way...no how.

STeeLy · 11-11-2011, 10:31 AM

I agree with you. I think you're doing the right thing.

While I think everyone needs a break once in a while, but a break doesn't mean a vacation. He could take a break without spending any money or going anywhere.

If he can't afford it, you shouldn't afford it for him, especially if he's living paycheque to paycheque.

puckluck · 11-11-2011, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ken0042

Have you already told him you have that much in savings available? If not- the easy answer is "Sorry- I don't have that kind of money available. I would have to borrow it myself to lend to you."

Personally they only time I lent a friend 4 figures; it was a friend who I had routinely lent and borrowed back and forth hundreds at a time. And that $1000 loan was for some immigration stuff for his family (which is pretty important), and not a vacation.

Tell him to go to Well Fargo. (Formerly Trans Canada Credit) They will lend anybody money. (at 33% of course.)

He already knows I could lend him the money, but I told him I would need it in a few months. He barely works in the winter so that will be a problem and really I am not in the position to lend someone that much money for that long.

He'll get over it, and I'm sure he will find someone else who will let him borrow the money. I just think it's pretty dumb to go on a vacation you can't afford to go on and think you will magically be able to pay someone back in a decent time.

Hanna Sniper · 11-11-2011, 10:37 AM

Would never lend friends or family money... I would give it to them, if they gave it back or paid me back then bonus. Once it leaves my hands I never expect to see it again.

Plus, what someone does with the money is none of my business.

Saying that, would I pay for their vacation.. hell no, not unless I'm the one that needed them there

ken0042 · 11-11-2011, 10:37 AM

Add to the fact that a couple of thousand for a vacation is a little much. I went to itravel2000.com and within seconds found a few all inclusives that were about $800 including taxes.

CofR · 11-11-2011, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

If I had a friend that needed money for a really good reason I would do it - but for a vacation? No way...no how.

Exactly, I lent my buddy $600 last year to get a flight home so he could be there for his Dad's final days... I also trusted that I would get it back in a relatively quick manner, but even if that wasn't the case I still would have been willing to give him the money and not think anything of it.

Huntingwhale · 11-11-2011, 10:41 AM

I wouldn't do it. Maybe if he had some immediate debts he had to take care of. But a vacation? No way. I have always lived by the saying that when you lend friends or family money you're not really lending it. You're giving it away. My honest opinion is that if you lend him the money be prepared to not ever see it or have a friendship ruined. IMO not worth it.

sclitheroe · 11-11-2011, 10:54 AM

They're not a friend if they are asking to borrow money. Seriously.

shermanator · 11-11-2011, 11:00 AM

Agree with the sentiment of this thread. Can't afford a vacation? Guess you aren't taking one then...

DownhillGoat · 11-11-2011, 11:02 AM

As mentioned by a few posters, I would if it was an emergency/extremely important life shattering event, sure. Vacations, new tv, etc? Not a chance in hell.

Parents, yes. Siblings/other relatives, no. Friends, definately no. I generally don't lend money, and when I do, I only lend it under the assumption that I'm never going to see it again.

Not being in your shoes I'm not about to judge the friendship, but if I had a buddy who a) asked for cash for a vacation he couldn't afford (unless maybe it was a destination wedding for a relative or something), and b) got PO'ed when you said no, I wouldn't bother maintaining that friendship.

chemgear · 11-11-2011, 11:09 AM

Isn't this why people tap the crap out of their line of credit(s) anyhow? Why would you ask somebody else for vacations?

I'd be too damn embarrassed to ask let alone be mad when it doesn't fly.

bubbsy · 11-11-2011, 11:11 AM

asking someone for money to cover a luxury item (ie. a vacation you can't afford) sounds pretty lame.

I'd ask this friend/family member whether they have their priorities right.