I'm quitting my job today!

[Scrambler]

I have to admit I'm a little giddy, the boss has no idea this is what's going to happen towards the end of the day today. Just curious if anyone has any good quit stories they'd like to share.

[Byrns]

Send out the pirate resignation letter.

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by Scrambler

I have to admit I'm a little giddy, the boss has no idea this is what's going to happen towards the end of the day today. Just curious if anyone has any good quit stories they'd like to share.

Are you quitting because you don't like your job or because you found a job somewhere else that is better?

[arsenal]

Light a bag of doggy poo on fire and leave it front of his door. Knock, and when he comes to answer hand him your resignation.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally Posted by Scrambler

I have to admit I'm a little giddy, the boss has no idea this is what's going to happen towards the end of the day today. Just curious if anyone has any good quit stories they'd like to share.

Never good to burn bridges!

[CaramonLS]

Guy where I used to work came to his shift on his last day, completely wasted, then burned his uniform on purpose in the oven.

Needless to say, he got the rest of the day off.

[OILFAN #81]

Originally Posted by fotze

You should talk quitty quiterton.

I almost cried when I quit more than a year ago.

Yeah I quit that lemonade stand when I was five, damn fools never saw it coming!

[Scrambler]

Originally Posted by OILFAN #81

Are you quitting because you don't like your job or because you found a job somewhere else that is better?

I would honestly have to say a little bit of both.

As far as burning bridges, I guess I don't want to be too mean. I'm putting in my notice respectably so we'll see what happens. This is a sales position so they might show me the door. A lot of companies don't want someone sitting around for two weeks doing nothing for them.

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by Scrambler

I have to admit I'm a little giddy, the boss has no idea this is what's going to happen towards the end of the day today. Just curious if anyone has any good quit stories they'd like to share.

Ask him if you can be frog-marched to the door and thrown into the street because that's never happened to you before and you wanted to see what it would be like and this seemed like a good opportunity .

Cowperson

[Scrambler]

Originally Posted by Cowperson

Ask him if you can be frog-marched to the door and thrown into the street because that's never happened to you before and you wanted to see what it would be like and this seemed like a good opportunity .

Cowperson

Lol, as funny as it would be, this person wouldn't be able to lift a dumbell. Maybe they'll get in some 'goons... hired goons'.

[Tron_fdc]

Take Me With You!!!!

[The Goon]

Don't wear pants for the rest of the day. Say you're "airing the boys out".

[Top Shelf]

Feel free to modify the resignation letter below, works very well if leaving a Sys Admin job

Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superior shares an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself, and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new Mac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp-dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.


Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting points.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I believe that terms like "Lolita” are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow, not ONE minute later. One word of this to anybody and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never ##### with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

[Ozy_Flame]

I'm quitting today too, although I've served my two weeks notice. They're begging me to stay, and the guy who is buying out our company is in the office today and going to offer me a contract to stay on, but I'll have to break it to him that unless I get a huge raise and a much better job (like the one I'm starting with on Tuesday), it AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!

[halibut]

Originally Posted by Top Shelf

Feel free to modify the resignation letter below, works very well if leaving a Sys Admin job

Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superior shares an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself, and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.

I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new Mac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp-dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.


Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting points.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I believe that terms like "Lolita” are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers birthday", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow, not ONE minute later. One word of this to anybody and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never ##### with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

I love being a system admin!

[TurnedTheCorner]

The best resignation I ever did was on a Monday morning. By email. And then ignored my boss' frantic phonecalls all day. Went in at the end of the day that day to clean out my desk and talk to her, and that was it.

Burning bridges can be good for the soul on occasion.

[ericschand]

I've had the office door slammed in my face by one previous manager.
He was really pissed. Sent instructions for the last two week via
proxy.

Another responded to my resignation letter with a curt, "Fine! We'll just
get along without you!" then proceeded to berate me for leaving them
in the position of having a contract and no one to support it. Then asked me to leave the vicinity. Never did say bye.

And then there's the one who said, not verbatim, "You can't possibly
have a job without working for us! You need us more than we need you!"
He didn't talk to me either till I left. Then when I went back to clean out
some stuff left behind, he was all buddy-buddy. Although he seemed to
indicate I didn't give him a chance. (After 2.5 years of, you are already
paid more than anyone else, you make more money than me[the manager],
we need to spread the money around, cuts to health benefits, etc, etc,
I didn't give him a chance?) Wow, how I wanted to tie into him.

Good luck, don't burn any bridges. If your manager goes off the deep
end, let them. What do you care? You're on your way out.

ers

[Buff]

One place I quit I walked up to my manager when he came into the building and told him. He never made eye contact with me, he just nodded and said "Ok". He didn't speak or make eye contact with me for my last shifts.

Another place I walked up to my supervisor with my written notice and he looked at me and said "I knew this was coming". He was a close friend of mine and I would've actually been the supervisor of that department had I not returned to school and worked only part time (he would've been supervisor of another department). I also wasn't getting fair treatment from our manager due to jealousy stemming... well it is a huge story that would completely be way off topic. So I gave him my notice and he asked if I wanted them to cancel the rest of my shifts (including the shift I had just started) and I told him that I would work the next two weeks. Well our manager was livid that she didn't get to play mind games with me anymore and told him to not schedule me anymore. I didn't care.

Then I when I quit my last job, I gave my notice to my boss and he said "I hate you" (much like you'd say to your friend when he informs you that he won a year worth of season tickets to the Flames).

There is a couple of other jobs here and there, but nothing exciting to note. I've been in a position to receive people's notice. One time the manager was on holidays and created two weeks worth of schedules. The supervisor had just worked the weekend and had the next two days off. At the end of a workd day one of the employees came to me (I was next in line in the chain of command) and she handed me a crinkled sheet of paper and said "This is my notice." I asked when her last day could be she said "Today". Well it was 8:58pm and we were done work at 9:00pm! 2 minutes notice! I had to scramble to replace her on the schedule for the next couple of days until the supervisor returned. Some people's kids.

[Scrambler]

Originally Posted by Buff

Then I when I quit my last job, I gave my notice to my boss and he said "I hate you" (much like you'd say to your friend when he informs you that he won a year worth of season tickets to the Flames).

Great post Buff, love the stories and the angst between the the different levels of employment when it comes time to quit. The metaphor you used (^) is fantastic by the way!

[Super-Rye]

My big quit story was from when I worked in a kitchen. I was one of few people who worked the day shift, they were having trouble hiring people. I was working 12 hour days and working on my Saturdays which I wasn't a big fan of, but I put up with it because they needed the help.

However at about this time my boss decided he was going to leave me high and dry on saturdays and let me run them by myself. After my head exploded a couple times I confronted him on this, about how he's the manager and he should be here when he has to be, not whenever he feels like. He tells me to, in much fewer words mind you "Figure out what you want to do, because either you're with me or against me."

So the next day I go in and hand in my 2 weeks, tell him that I'm canceling all my shifts, this will be my last shift and he asks to have a chat with me in private. He starts reeming me out, saying "Who the f*** do you think you are?" and just didn't stop which really didn't bother me. Then he sees he's not getting through to me and says "All I wanted was a team player!" and I came back with "and all I wanted was a KM who knew what he was doing!" which he fired me for which is fine by my books. Last shift go home and go find a job? Or go home collect severence and dick around for 2 weeks. Was an easy choice for me.

Haha the last job I quit was much more uneventful but a couple of my managers were smiling ear to ear while the ones who knew what they were doing were crushed.