04-09-2007, 10:08 PM
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#1
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Niceland
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Caught between 2 ladies
Two elderly ladies that is.
On my block there is elderly lady A across the back alley, and elderly lady B across the street. I am directly in the middle.
They each possess an uncanny ability to know exactly what is going on at any given time at my house or the neighbors. I also think they both have the city bylaw number on speed dial. Just watching..... waiting..... looking out the window.... ready to report something.
I just got a call from lady A, asking if my neighbor was home. It seems she spotted a cat running up and down the blinds in his house. Now she is almost 80, and it must be 300 feet to her window, and it is dark and rainy. How could she see this?
Anyways, she asked me to go see if he was ok, so i did. Big mistake.
This guy is pretty big and burly and rides a chopper. At first I just went to the door, then chickened out, retreating to my yard. Then, I worried lady A would call for a field report, so I went back.
Ring. Ring. Finally he comes to the door in a towel, and I have to report why I am disturbing him. Alas, there wasn't any good reason I could give him. In essence, I made a fool of myself. "A cat? What? What are you talking about?" I beat a hasty retreat, not explaining how I happened to notice a cat in his back window.
Between them, I think they have reported him 5x each in the past few years for various violations, real or imagined.
Oh, yeah, it turns out lady B has a telescope with which she can peer into my house. At first I was unsettled, but now i take it for what it is worth. A free 24hr security system, front and back!
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04-10-2007, 09:46 AM
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#2
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: DC
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hahaha,
that is too funny.
I really hope I don't get crazy like that when I get old.
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04-10-2007, 09:53 AM
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#3
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Redundant Minister of Redundancy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Montreal
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Well after feeling grossly mislead by the thread title, I have to say your story was pretty funny and almost made up for it 
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04-10-2007, 10:02 AM
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#4
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Scoring Winger
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Hahaha, that is funny. I bet you could have loads of fun pulling some pranks on them
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04-10-2007, 10:07 AM
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#5
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
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If they are annoying you, leave your blinds open and walk around naked, being sure to bend over frequently.
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
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04-10-2007, 10:10 AM
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#6
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Calgary...Alberta, Canada
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From reading your description, I can't figure out what the problem is, but the best solution is to invite them both over, get the wine flowing, and let things happen from there.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
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04-10-2007, 10:14 AM
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#7
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: sector 7G
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LOL!
I was nervous moving into my new place, wondering if I'd have the wack job neighbours. Looks like I've lucked out so far. Either side of me are two very nice families. The only problem I see is some younger partying types up the street who drive too fast.
We had a busy body on our street when I was a kid, knew everything that happened, had the binoculars and looked out her window all day. She was pretty harmless, and the aforementioned free neighbourhoood watch thing was cool (she calld the cops and stopped a probable B&E once).
The nosy old lady thing can be a pain in the ass, though. My older brother is the condo assoc president in his building and is constantly bothered by two old women over the dumbest things.
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04-10-2007, 10:27 AM
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#8
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CP Pontiff
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: A pasture out by Millarville
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesy
Two elderly ladies that is.
On my block there is elderly lady A across the back alley, and elderly lady B across the street. I am directly in the middle.
They each possess an uncanny ability to know exactly what is going on at any given time at my house or the neighbors. I also think they both have the city bylaw number on speed dial. Just watching..... waiting..... looking out the window.... ready to report something.
I just got a call from lady A, asking if my neighbor was home. It seems she spotted a cat running up and down the blinds in his house. Now she is almost 80, and it must be 300 feet to her window, and it is dark and rainy. How could she see this?
Anyways, she asked me to go see if he was ok, so i did. Big mistake.
This guy is pretty big and burly and rides a chopper. At first I just went to the door, then chickened out, retreating to my yard. Then, I worried lady A would call for a field report, so I went back.
Ring. Ring. Finally he comes to the door in a towel, and I have to report why I am disturbing him. Alas, there wasn't any good reason I could give him. In essence, I made a fool of myself. "A cat? What? What are you talking about?" I beat a hasty retreat, not explaining how I happened to notice a cat in his back window.
Between them, I think they have reported him 5x each in the past few years for various violations, real or imagined.
Oh, yeah, it turns out lady B has a telescope with which she can peer into my house. At first I was unsettled, but now i take it for what it is worth. A free 24hr security system, front and back!
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That's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time . . . . . I'm from a small town and that is so hilariously very small townish. My mother and the neighbour ladies. Hahaha.
Oh, by the way, STAY OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF IT.
No more errands for you.
I'm sympathetic to the cat plight, believe me, but you should be watching her cat instead since they like to munch on dead 80 year-old ladies.
PS: I'm something of a busy body with the neighbour farmer but only because I have an eagle-eye view of his place and he keeps his fences in such terrible shape that his cows are always busting loose . . . . so I phone him and let him know there's a mile long stream of them heading to Timbuktu on the road. "You're kidding!!!" No, I'm not. And one time I helped him put out his baler when it was on fire so he seemed appreciative.
Cowperson
__________________
Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. - Anonymous
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04-10-2007, 11:02 AM
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#9
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Norm!
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To thank them for being so vigilant with your home security, you should give them a free waiving junk show.
Make sure that you play the sound track from flash dance really really loud.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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04-10-2007, 03:54 PM
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#10
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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Hahahahahaha! Great story Jonsey!
Looks as if you have free home security. Ohhhh and I agree with Cowperson, stay out of it and don't get involved.
Btw keep us informed of any further details 
__________________
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04-10-2007, 04:03 PM
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#11
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not sure
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Goon
From reading your description, I can't figure out what the problem is, but the best solution is to invite them both over, get the wine flowing, and let things happen from there.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
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04-10-2007, 06:30 PM
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#12
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: The wagon's name is "Gaudreau"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tripin_billie
hahaha,
that is too funny.
I really hope I don't get crazy like that when I get old.
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Really? That's the part I'm looking forward to the most!
__________________
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04-11-2007, 12:05 AM
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#13
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In the Sin Bin
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No kidding. If you are doomed to go senile anyway, why not enjoy it?
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