Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - Sous Vide Mega Thread

DoubleF · 11-23-2016, 04:46 PM

DoubleF's dummy understanding of sous vide...

1. Place meat foods in "ziploc like bag" with flavorings. Bag will trap in juices. More juices retained = betterer food + deeper understanding of religion (Everyone seems to talk about heaven).

2. Boil it at the best temperature. To figure out what you have as temperature, use: A) Thermometer B) Sous vide probe thingy (WAY SUPERIOR!). Adjust as necessary. What is best temperature? Google that ####.

3. After a few hours, you get a food that is boiled in its own juices. It is now in a state nearly ready to consume. It's gonna be a bit weird looking though. Finish that sucker off on a pan/use a blow torch/BBQ/significant other's hangry laser death eyes (makes great grill marks) to make the food seem more normal looking.
Did I mention you should have grabbed a burger to eat while you were waiting? Oh dang I'm sorry. I forgot to mention you can sous vide a burger. You should have sous vided that before whatever you started sous vide~ing.

4. Gather yourself +100 points in Haute cuisine. Brag to friends. Make up new silly phrases like, "Restaurants hates it. Revolutionary cooking method could make expensive nights out a thing of the past!". Make snarky remarks like, "My $150 sous vide can beat up your Kamado smoker!"

Did I miss anything?

I kinda want one, but I don't know what I'd be getting into. It almost feels like a superior version of a slow cooker. I might die of hunger before this fantastic cooking method finishes cooking.

11-23-2016, 04:46 PM	#28
DoubleF Franchise Player Join Date: Apr 2014 Exp:	DoubleF's dummy understanding of sous vide... 1. Place meat foods in "ziploc like bag" with flavorings. Bag will trap in juices. More juices retained = betterer food + deeper understanding of religion (Everyone seems to talk about heaven). 2. Boil it at the best temperature. To figure out what you have as temperature, use: A) Thermometer B) Sous vide probe thingy (WAY SUPERIOR!). Adjust as necessary. What is best temperature? Google that ####. 3. After a few hours, you get a food that is boiled in its own juices. It is now in a state nearly ready to consume. It's gonna be a bit weird looking though. Finish that sucker off on a pan/use a blow torch/BBQ/significant other's hangry laser death eyes (makes great grill marks) to make the food seem more normal looking. Did I mention you should have grabbed a burger to eat while you were waiting? Oh dang I'm sorry. I forgot to mention you can sous vide a burger. You should have sous vided that before whatever you started sous vide~ing. 4. Gather yourself +100 points in Haute cuisine. Brag to friends. Make up new silly phrases like, "Restaurants hates it. Revolutionary cooking method could make expensive nights out a thing of the past!". Make snarky remarks like, "My $150 sous vide can beat up your Kamado smoker!" Did I miss anything? I kinda want one, but I don't know what I'd be getting into. It almost feels like a superior version of a slow cooker. I might die of hunger before this fantastic cooking method finishes cooking.