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Old 06-24-2022, 04:03 PM   #7
Jimmy Stang
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Thanks for sharing and starting a thread about this. I'm in a similar situation, and learned a lot about ADHD when my son was diagnosed at about age 7 (he's nearly 11 now). It is usually inherited from a parent (or both), and when I started learning more about it, the more obvious it became that it totally came from me.

I never really thought of myself as having ADHD, but that was largely because of the misconceptions I had about it. I wasn't hyperactive, fidgety, inattentive, etc. and people always saw me as pretty chill, organized, consistent, etc.

But of course, it is so different for each person. So I talked to my doctor about it, did the survey self-assessment thing, and sure enough, she was like "there's definitely enough here to pursue a diagnosis". The things that I scored highly on were things like:

- Relying heavily on lists, calendars, reminders, etc. For as long as I can remember, I have kept lists and a detailed calendar. If I am doing something, I want to see the coloured block of time on my calendar. Even in grade 6 I can remember having a daytimer, and it had to be one in 30-minute increments so I could block off each thing. This is just one of the many coping mechanisms that someone with ADHD uses to stay on track. People say "oh you're so organized", and of course it appears that way, but it came out of necessity.

- People pleasing, agreeing to volunteer roles. This was also very eye opening. Some ADHD folks get off on the dopamine hit of helping others, being the planner, contributing, being involved, being loyal. But it almost always results in stress and dissatisfaction as we bite off more than we can chew because it is hard to say no. I'm far from a pushover, but would always find a way to do it. "Well somebody has to" and "I could probably swing it". A life-changing quote that I saw from someone on Twitter on the subject was "guard your yes". Learning to say no without guilt is so important. Somebody else CAN do it.

- Procrastination. I always did fairly well in school. Elementary right the way through university. It came fairly easy to me, and I got decent marks, but I would always hear from teachers "James could do so much more if he would apply himself". And four weeks to do a project? That's pretty boring and hard to get started. So I'll just write some rough notes, make a bit of a framework, and then let it simmer. And simmer some more. And then eventually bang it out in a marathon session towards the end, or right before my group needed the draft. Usually nailed it. Behaviour reinforced. I just need the excitement and pressure of an impending deadline.

- Hyper focus. If I'm not interested in something that needs doing, I will avoid starting it. But if I'm really into something, I can't get it off of my mind. Hours feel like minutes if I am working on something that catches my attention. This isn't unique to ADHD, just really amplified.


So my doctor had me lined up for a Zoom assessment with a psychologist, but the date wasn't good for me, and they were very rigid about rescheduling. And my doctor was also retiring around the same time. So I asked "what would an official assessment really do for me?" and really it was just the confirmation of an official diagnosis, and when you're in your early 40s, it isn't like it will unlock special learning modifications like an IPP for a school-aged student. I could still get the meds if I wanted them, and I could always pursue a diagnosis later. So I back-burnered it because to me it was clear as day, and the more I researched it, the more it reinforced it.

For what it is worth, I did try a low-dose of Vyvanse and it seemed to help a little, but nothing spectacular, but since I was already functioning fairly well with my own coping strategies that I had developed over the years, I didn't continue on with it.

But the process really helped explain a lot about my tendencies in school, work, and throughout life in general. I have friends that would probably never believe me if I told them I had ADHD, because it doesn't present itself in the usual stereotypical ways, and I don't think that it does for most people anyway. But boy did it ever make a difference in my own understanding of myself. So this is why I do these things! Including ignoring another task that I really should do instead of spilling my guts to Calgary Puck, but I wanted to do this more and I can do that other thing later.
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