Quote:
Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz
Well yeah, that's exactly my point.
People making comments about coworkers in the lunch room probably isn't appropriate for men or women.
People making comments about a bartender at a work function may or may not be crossing the line.
The difference is context, who is making the comments, and the specifics of the comments.
In my office there are three groups of people:
1) People I can joke around with and don't have to worry about offending
2) People who I know I should be more respectful and careful what I say around
3) People who I'm not sure if they are in group 1 or 2
If you don't know what group they are in, assume they are group 2 until you know for sure, it's not that hard.
For most people, the fact that this issue is coming to light so strongly recently isn't an issue because a lot of us know, or have learned through experience, how to read the room and when various levels of interaction are appropriate (who's in which group).
The people who are taking offence to this issue, or are worried we are moving to a place where were we never say anything to anyone are likely the people who only think there is group 1, or have never figured out the bold part.
To address your specific point about how this situation was different let me ask you this. Were you offended or felt threatened based on what the women said, or are you just upset that they are allowed to say it and you aren't?
If it's the former then you shouldn't treat this any different and should consider discussing it with them and explaining how/why that is.
If it's the latter, then you are exactly the type of person I'm talking about who doesn't understand why there is/should be consideration given to who is making a statement and in what context.
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In my specific situation I will fully admit I could care less and when it comes to offending me personally my threshold is super high with what people say. To answer your question, no I wasn't offended at all.
I can't speak for the other guy who was also at the table and most likely heard the chatter but I never asked, I don't care and I don't know him very well and wouldn't even bother to bring it up.
What I did find INTERESTING though was the stance the ladies took when it came to this. I joked around with facial, hand and voice expressions that "careful now, we don't any of you to lose their jobs over some offensive comments"
They were 100% in solidarity that their comments were to each other, simply a joke, private conversation during off-work hours but at a work related event and that in no way, shape or form that anyone would ever need to even consider discipline and something as ludicrous as termination. It was flat out that we don't care that you overheard it, were or were not offended and to move along, nothing to see here!! It was an interesting scenario given the conversation we are having in North America in November/December of 2017. This wasn't a conversation from 30 years
Going back to your 3 groups of people in your office place, hypothetically I would probably be in your group #1. I am a super easy going guy, I love some good conversation with the people I spend hours each day with, I am very friendly and have been told I have quality traditional and gentleman values which I appreciate.
The truth of the matter is that if you and me were having a little conversation, no matter what the conversation topic and someone from group #2 or 3 comes around the corner or into the room and hears it and suddenly is so offended, can't function at work, scared and intimidated and needs to make sure they have HR handle it and all this, how do you deal with that? Keep in mind that your opinion, my opinion doesn't matter one bit, it's about as relevant as my goaltending skills to the Flames. It's the other peoples feelings that matter 100% that does. End of story.
A friends mother brought up something to him today, what's next.....we are going to have to be cognizant of how we speak to our spouses or children on the phone in our workplace building? What if somebody gets into a huff and puff over how you spoke to your spouse?
If there is one common theme in this entire thread and conversation is that everyone agree's on a whole host of issues and scenarios and there is a lot of opinions, some people think certain things are acceptable and others don't. I don't have all the answers myself. I just find the debate interesting!!