Quote:
Originally Posted by curves2000
I am a little confused as to how the specific situation I mentioned should be treated differently for men and women ? In this situation the ladies weren't asking the bartender out, in fact to my knowledge, I don't even know if he had heard anything specifically other than maybe some light flirting when he was at the table.
I guess what I am having trouble with why should sexual and rude comments being made by women in the corporate workplace should be tolerated but if I a male makes comments all of a sudden its expected he should be railroaded??
I had used an example in earlier posts about guys chatting in a lunchroom about female colleagues and some posters fired back that I should keep my libido in check and that the workplace is not a social club. I agree but are we going to hold our female colleagues to the same standards? Somewhat similar? If a female colleague in the workplace had actually stepped over the line, how comfortable would a male manager be to actually go through the process of firing an employee of some comments?
I am not an expert in this field at all, all I know is how to behave properly and be respectful in the workplace and not play in the grey zones at all but some of the stuff I am hearing from people is just flat out strange. There are no right or wrong answers to every potential incident in a grey area sometimes.
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Well yeah, that's exactly my point.
People making comments about coworkers in the lunch room probably isn't appropriate for men or women.
People making comments about a bartender at a work function may or may not be crossing the line.
The difference is context, who is making the comments, and the specifics of the comments.
In my office there are three groups of people:
1) People I can joke around with and don't have to worry about offending
2) People who I know I should be more respectful and careful what I say around
3) People who I'm not sure if they are in group 1 or 2
If you don't know what group they are in, assume they are group 2 until you know for sure, it's not that hard.
For most people, the fact that this issue is coming to light so strongly recently isn't an issue because a lot of us know, or have learned through experience, how to read the room and when various levels of interaction are appropriate (who's in which group).
The people who are taking offence to this issue, or are worried we are moving to a place where were we never say anything to anyone are likely the people who only think there is group 1, or have never figured out the bold part.
To address your specific point about how this situation was different let me ask you this. Were you offended or felt threatened based on what the women said, or are you just upset that they are allowed to say it and you aren't?
If it's the former then you shouldn't treat this any different and should consider discussing it with them and explaining how/why that is.
If it's the latter, then you are exactly the type of person I'm talking about who doesn't understand why there is/should be consideration given to who is making a statement and in what context.