Maybe the necessary conditions for life only happen in nth generation star systems, it takes many generations to build up levels of elements that are only generated in supernovae and such. So while we've only been around a blink of cosmic time, the earth is 4.5 billion years out of 14 billion years for the universe.. maybe multicellular life typically takes billions of years, and more advanced life is only likely in solar systems that are 10 billion years old.. so maybe we're not the absolute first, but maybe we're on the leading edge of the rise as the universe hits its golden age of suitability for complex life.
Or while advanced civilizations are definitely possible and happen more than a few times, the rate is still low that over the vastness of space and time the likelihood that one would encounter another is vanishingly small.
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Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
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