I would do one of these three things for finances.
1) Separate accounts and each person is responsible for certain bills. My parents have always done it this way and they are celebrating 50 years this summer, so it worked for them. (A lot of people seem to be horrified when this is suggested though.)
2) Joint account that both pay cheques go into, which covers household and family things. Each person withdraws an agreed upon amount each month that they can spend as they wish (personal wishes or even gifts for the spouse that they want to keep a surprise).
3) Separate accounts that your cheques go into but a joint account that you each contribute an agreed to amount to cover household bills.
If people make vastly different amounts, I would contribute on a percentage basis. For example, the person who makes double, contributes double to the mortgage. Otherwise, one partner will always have a lot more "fun money" than the other, which I think could negatively affect the relationship.
I had friends who did the combine everything route and were always overdrawn because they would each spend / withdraw money without telling the other (both spouses were not great at keeping track of things).
If you're going in with very different assets, I would talk to a lawyer about a pre-nup. The lawyer should be able to recommend things for the future as well. For example, right now maybe you both leave with what you brought it, but if there are children in the future, things might change. I know someone with a very out of date agreement whose partner recently passed in a tragic accident and things are a mess!
Asking for permission - I think that depends on the beliefs of the people involved. I know some people who just think that's the way it's done. I've always wondered, if you are asking for permission, what if the father says no?
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