[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by ThisIsAnOutrage

Concourse Roars, “McDavid in Five!” as Sharks lead Oilers 1-0 in Series

The atmosphere at Rogers Place was electric last night as a new generation of Oilers’ playoff fans packed the concourse for a mere $80.00 a head; a price even the skinflintiest Connor McDavid supporter could not argue with. Despite that the opposition overcame a two-goal deficit and went on to win in overtime, the McDavid faithful were undeterred in their belief that the Oilers' wunderkind would carry the team to the second round, and chants of, “McDavid in Five! The Dream is alive!™” were still being heard around the arena long after the game had ended. The same optimism was abundant at the Oilers’ head office as Stew MacDonald, Chief Commercial Officer, was absolutely gaga over finally having a little playoff revenue to spread around. “This is fantastic. This absolutely fantastic!” raved MacDonald. Not content with the revenue from a mere one game loss, before the night was out MacDonald had summoned his sales and marketing team for a brain-storming session on how to maximize the opportunity. As of press time “McDavid in Five! The Dream is Alive™” had been trademarked by the Oilers along with, “McDavid in Six, Pay More for our Tix!™” and, “McDavid in Seven! All thanks to Kevin!™” T-shirts bearing the slogans along with the Oilers and Sharks logos are now on sale wherever McDavid merchandise is sold; a solid $45.00 investment. At the next Oilers’ home game McDavid faithful can also look forward to Connor McNacho™ trays featuring exactly 97 chips and a collectable chip and cheese holder for $21.99; family size, 97oz Connor McCola™ collectable buckets for $59.99; premium Connor McParking™ within 970 feet of Rogers Place for $97.00; and, the ultimate accessory for the well-to-do, avant-garde McDavid superfan: a limited edition vial of Connor McStemcells™ for $979,797.97 straight from the Oilers’ First Pick Overall Development Lab (FPOD)™.

I feel I must tell you that I just sent this word for word in a massive group text to all Oiler fans i know.


Thanks