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Old 08-14-2017, 01:19 AM   #14
81MC
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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First, good for you for recognizing you are not doing well and may need guidance/immediate help/long term coping mechanisms. Myself, I was able to isolate from friends and alienate my wife so well that I'm now single, and haven't had a friend even come to my new residence. I knew I was feeling messed up, and after our sons stillbirth I was able to use that situation and my wife's (rightfully so) devastation to continue to avoid an honest self assessment.
Feelings and emotions can manifest in strange ways, so it is important to be able to discuss all matters freely and honestly with anyone. If you're the enlightened type, that could be done solo through meditation type activities (which is a dedicated practise in itself), pen-to-paper reflection, or deep thought. But its very easy to get into your own head, but I find it damn near impossibly hard to get out. This is where professional guidance can really be helpful.
As I understand, 'depression' can be physiological for many people, in which case medication might actually be needed. I personally think exhausting other solutions before looking in a medicine cabinet is more suitable, particulary if there's some real, tangible loneliness/sadness/stress you can attribute to your feelings. It's not a quick cure, if that's anywhere near an appropriate word, but if nothing else can help you lead a healthier overall life, physically and mentally.
There is apparently good research indicating an increase in activity and social behaviour improves preceived levels of depression. From experience, I have found it to help, truly. Also not being so hard on yourself is important. It's easy to pile on reasons why you shouldn't feel a certain way, but that doesn't mean you don't. And that is okay, being human comes with an array of emotions and we are rarely as in control of them as we'd like to think. I've been actively working on myself for a while now, and I still can't truly say I've found peace of mind. But, every day I can accomplish something, experience some happiness and plan for the future is a hell of a lot better than crying on the floor and cursing everything about where I am, literally. And don't underestimate loneliness. I know from lurking you've expressed that w/ women in the past. I'm honestly probably lonely as ####, but sex and companionship with anyone but my now ex-wife has honest to goodness never actually made that feeling go away. That needs to be internally mended first.

Sorry for the overly personal ####, but I feel it's important for you to be aware everyone has their struggle, but no one has yours. How you handle the task of improving your life reaps its greatest consequence on your life alone. It's work and uncomfortable, to make a phone call, or go to an appointment and have to bare your soul many times and discuss hard things. But you've taken one solid step, so put the other foot in front of the other. After a while, the road doesn't seem so long.
Best wishes.
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