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My son is similar, Aspergers and ADD. We did find out pretty early on, but we still went through hell when he was younger, to the point we went through a program at the Children's Hospital where they go to school there and have a team of teachers and mental health experts and doctors and psychologists and psychiatrists and everything monitoring him all day. Coming out of that we got some real changes that improved things slowly over time.

He's in grade 12 now and his grades are very good and he seems to have some social life, though he's still very socially distant and awkward, but he doesn't seem to mind, his need/desire for lots of social connections seems to be small. I do wonder if he's as happy as he could be.

I think the hardest part for us was knowing the difference between what was something that could/should be part of parenting, and what was something that should be accommodated. How much pain did we cause him and ourselves working against him?

If I don't watch myself I can spend a lot of time worrying about what I could have done differently. To the point it's fed depression in the past.

So I applaud you and urge you to hold onto that logical self that's saying you're doing all you can. It plays a big part in staying strong and supportive.

Thanks for being a good parent!