Quote:
Originally Posted by New Era
Good on you Thor. It's amazing to see someone so comfortable in their own skin that they can disclose something so personal, especially when it is taboo to much of society. You're an inspiration to me.
I'd like you to clarify something about BDSM. Is BDSM about sex - or more accurately getting laid - or is there something more to the act and culture? People do not engage in BDSM to have sex, do they not engage in BDSM to meet a particular desire or need, which ultimately allows them to achieve pleasure and a release?
|
So the simple answer is BDSM is about the mental experience firstly (mostly,) its far more about that than any physical part. Those that seek out BDSM might start out thinking its just to get laid, but they will quickly learn its a large mental effort and commitment, even for submissives which many of them learn quickly.
Having said that the umbrella of the "Kink" community has all kinds of people, but the authentic power exchange involved in all the various Dominant submissive experience is firstly all in the mind, that is what then makes the actual sex so intense and for many that's what keeps them in the lifestyle, even if they initially dipped their toes thinking it was going to get them laid.
On a public BDSM night where you see a lot of your local community, you will see very average looking men over 40 being approached by women who are usually much younger and very attractive. Because for them they want someone who knows what they are doing, the physical attraction is less important for many since the intensity of the experience can be so powerful.
Its also a very body positive community because of that, because vanilla life is obsessed with looks, body, our community is obsessed with the mind and those who have it, are sought out by reputation.
The "slut" type exists as well in BDSM, its a small group (all genders), but even they are often ones who ultimately seek a Dom, or become a switch or even submissive.
Also next to consent being at the top of the rules in the community, is also NMK, (not my kink), meaning if someone shares a kink they have that you are repulsed by or dislike, you never shame them. As long as things are between consenting adults, people are given the respect to ask and look for the things they most desire.