[GGG]

I disagree that anyone is saying don't ask. They are saying find an appropriate time to ask. And no one is saying it is harassment to ask.

Is 4am after the bar closed in a closed elevator inviting the person back to your room for "coffee". I think the context of the evening before that matters of if that is an appropriate place to politely proposition someone. Were they making out in the bar, body contact, flirting would all Make the ask reasonable but if they were just hanging out in a group that's likely not appropriate. But aside from that there wasn't a consequence for this behaviour. It wasn't brought up as harassment.

The Dongle joke again is a don't make dick jokes at work. That seems like a reasonable standard of care. The consequence was harsh and I hope he sued for wrongful dismissal but it isn't difficult not to make dick jokes.

So while the I don't want this to happen to me fear is real it's not a rational fear for people who behave within the norms. And these Norms are clearly defined in corporate hand books for work related ones.