[CaptainCrunch]

I'm really sorry for what your going through, I can't imagine and I dread this kind of conversation because my Dad's in his mid 80's and my mom is in her early 80's, so we're talking about getting prepared. I spent the last year with my parents going through their arrangements so that when it happens, the other parent is taken care of, and there's not a lot of angst and grief over details and legalities when you should be celebrating that person's life.

I like the idea of letters, but how about letting him record messages for your kids birthdays, or special occasions with your wife so he can in a sense be there and they can remember what he looks and sounds like. Especially since your kids are so long. Having a recording from your dad with advice might be a nice thing for you know their 18th birthday or first day of college or their drivers test will also give him a nice feeling of being involved in their lives even though he might be gone.

I like the idea of the letter, and I'm sure you've had the conversation in person, but maybe setting up a day for just you and your dad to do an activity that he can still do. I bought a chess board so that me and my dad can spend some time playing chess, which is a game that he loved but we haven't played a lot of. That way you can also get those feelings out.

I would encourage you to maybe see if you can take some time off of work and spend as much time with family as possible, its important to make sure you help the other people around him through it. If there's any kind of spiritual aspect to your family you might want to make sure that you take care of those needs.

Also sit back and think about how your going to explain this to your young children, I'm not trying to give you parenting advice so forgive me for even sounding like it, but preparing young children for the death of a family member and what happens after he passes is really important.

And yeah, make sure that you plan on how your going to support your mom, after 50 years of marriage if I'm reading this right, there is going to be a huge emotional void that some older folks can find overwhelming. Maybe look at her short term living arrangements and making sure that she has a lot of company should be high on your list of preparation.