Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
So wait, you get her phone number and proceed to texting and use texting as your primary communication?
People become the worst thing on texting, I'm serious they become the worst sales people ever.
First and foremost, pull the trigger, if a girl gives you her number, call her figure out your cooling off period, one day, or two days and then pick up the phone and call her, keep it simple. "Hey loved talking to you, I'd like to see you, lets meet for dinners or drinks or whatever"
endless texting and so called flirting in text and going on endlessly with it tells her that you're either playing her along because you're not sure, or you're not willing to put in the effort or gesture to move this think along to the next stage. You become a time burgler.
Maybe I missed something but this is what it sounds like.
Meet the girl - excellent
Spark a conversation - Excellent
Do well enough to get a phone number - Outstanding
Start a stream of texting, and flirting through text, but never get around to closing the deal to meet again - Bad
She ghosts you - No surprise there, somebody else probably jumped in that she met who actually closed the deal.
In a new relationship do you know what I use text for - Confirmation. "Hey we talked about this movie that you wanted to see tonight, its at 8 I'll pick you up at 6". "Hey really looking forward to Dinner tonight, I'll swing by at 8".
You're literally to me, taking the easiest way out with texting, its not a romantic gesture, or an effort gesture, its literally the easiest and least thought required thing that you can do.
Don't ever ask someone out on a first date by text, it gives the other person a super easy way out. don't drag things out and use text to communicate, they'll literally lose interest because it doesn't feel like you're trying that hard.
Look you did a great job at the start, you approached a girl you didn't know and got a number that didn't have the area code 555. Do you know how tough that is for a lot of people, and how many people never get it right? Then you petered out and she lost interest. It shouldn't be a thing that's expected, its on you not her.
Text is for ordering Pizza, blowing off your parents for Sunday Brunch, getting a hooker, or confirming an appointment for your proctologist (So like a dating app). Not as a primary dating tool at the start.
|
I agree with virtually everything you have said. If somebody else had started the thread, I may have written your exact thoughts.
I am a big fan of phone calls, I call almost all the friends and family and just use texting for what you described in most cases.
I am an old fashion soul in a lot of ways, 34 years old but like I said above, No social media, no dating apps and I like calls. A lot of millennial's really don't do a lot of phone calls except when NEEDED. I agree with you and may change it up just for the hell of it, I got no problem with that and it has worked out well in the past.
For me the biggest change is in the last few years where this has come up and trying to figure it out. One thing I should clarify is that I don't sit there with mindless and endless texting, I much prefer in person dates and getting to see someone. I don't drag this on for weeks or anything and sometimes I have been ghosted after a handful of very basic messages but I get your thoughts.
Thanks again for the kick in the right direction.