Quote:
Originally Posted by habernac
Some unreal things here. We've been through a lot. I'll agree with a few others that being a pall bearer is a huge honour, one I've had for both of my grandfathers.
My toughest duty was to be the "strong one" earlier this year when my wife miscarried. I still don't know if I've dealt with it properly yet. This month has been difficult as he/she would have been born in the next few weeks. This has been by far the most difficult year of my life.
|
Being a pallbearer is certainly an honour ... I've done it for two uncles and considered it a great honour. But being a pallbearer for a two-year-old niece and a 19-year-old friend, both of whom died under difficult circumstances, was very difficult. Still an honour for sure ... but a very difficult one.
I've had to do the "strong one" role for my wife as well when we lost twin boys during delivery, but for some reason that was different than being pallbearer in the two instances mentioned above. That's probably partly due to the circumstances involved in the death of my step niece and friend, and partly due to my being on auto pilot when we lost the twins. I knew I had to buck up in that situation and pull both of us through it. It wasn't until two years after their deaths that I allowed myself to confront my emotions, and by then the passage of time had already done a lot of healing.