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Old 08-26-2007, 09:02 AM   #18
Lanny_MacDonald
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So Iowa, does this mean you're changing your handle to Philly_Flames_Fan. I hope not, that's a bitch to say when you're loaded.

My advice, call Terminex or Orkin. They'll get you fixed up. After living in Florida I can tell you is successful at getting rid of roaches, and these two companies provided the best service and consistent success.

A couple of roach stories for your enjoyment.

When I first went to Florida it was for a company transfer. They put me up at the Westin Innisbook for my first month down there and I had a suite with a sitting area and kitchen with an eating bar. I'm sitting at the bar working on a report, drinking a cold bevy, when out of the corner of my eye I detect some movement on the floor in the living room. I turn and spy the biggest freakin' bug I have ever seen in life. I immediately knew where Volkswagen got the design for the Beetle, and that the life sized model for the car was in my living room. So I proceed to jump on my chair, crawl across the counter to the phone, and call the front desk, screaming there is a monster in my room looking to eat me. They send a guy "right up", which felt like half an hour. All the time this damn roach sits in the living room eye balling me and waving its antenni around.

Finally this guy arrives to "take care of the situation". He's armed only with a towel, like he's going to wet the end of it and snap it in the ass like it just got out of the shower. So I'm laying across the counter asking him WTF a towel is going to do, and where the hell his rocket launcher is? He casually walks over and heards this behemoth into the towel and tells me he's going to take him outside to release him. When I ask why he didn't kill the fiend (I didn't know bastich was sensored) he said stepping on them does nothing, they can lie almost completely flat and they shell is next to industructible, unless you take a hammer to them at close range. He said the best weapon against these critters is a gecko. A two inch gecko will routinely take on a three inch palmetto bug and win every time (I've seen it, and he is right). Least to say, I didn't sleep well for the next month.

Second story from Florida is a quickee.

The wife and I are in bed late one night and I got an idea I needed to write down. I blindly reach over into the night stand and pull out a pen and paper I keep there for instances like this. I write my idea down and turn to put the paper and pen away. As I do this two inch roach slowly crawls out of the drawer and sits on the edge looking at me. I'm immediately out of the bed, dancing around the bedroom, screaming like a whipped school girl. My wife, who doesn't mind bugs, shooed the bug out of the drawer and chased it out of the bedroom and out the front door of the house. That was it for me. I'd had my last roach. A month later we had sold our house and moved to Arizona. Now I only have to deal with scorpions, which terrify both my wife and I.

BTW... did I mention what a great job Terminex does???

Last edited by Lanny_MacDonald; 08-26-2007 at 09:04 AM.
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