[Dion]

A Pastor is 10 minutes into his sermon when he notices his young son in balcony with a pea shooter, He was leaning over the railing popping people in the head. As the Pastor prepared to give a very public scolding of his boy, the 7 year old yelled out: "You keep preaching Dad and I'll keep them awake!"

A little old lady was in a department store elevator when the door opens and 2 rich women step in. The first one says: "Smell this Nebulous perfume! $500 for 3.2 ounces"
The second woman says: "Smell this!, it's Rojas perfume.....$900 for 3.5 ounces" The old lady farts and says: "Smell that? Brussel sprouts!....$1.25 a pound"

Blonde walks into the doctors office with 2 burnt ears. How did that happen, says the doc? Blonde says she was ironing some clothes when the phone rang. Went on to say she picked up the iron by mistake. Doctor asks about the other ear, Blonde says the basterds phoned back!