Quote:
Originally Posted by Cali Panthers Fan
Why can't I just get a normal happy birthday phone call from my brother without it instantly devolving into politics and extremist nonsense?
...
Someone help me cope with this crazy infesting my family. It's too upsetting to hear him still rant like this. I try and avoid this topic but it always comes up and it's just a non-starter on us having a decent relationship with each other. Help.
|
I have the same issue with my parents. They listen to a bunch of right wing podcasts. They're always talking about how violent Chicago is and how great the president of El Salvador is. They went to see Jordan Peterson. They bought my sister a
grounding/earthing pad. It's exhausting.
I've given up trying to engage directly in specifics (politics or science), you can't combat the firehose of disinformation they consume every day.
But my parents aren't going to be around forever and I don't want to spend time talking about nonsense that doesn't have any direct impact on their lives anyway.
I have two different strategies these days.. the first is to simply not engage.. usually there's more people around and if there's a discussion going on I just ignore it.
The second is if I have no choice but to engage I maneuver the discussion to focus on values that we either agree on or things that are generic enough of philosophical enough that it can be a discussion at that level rather than trying to get into the specifics of how evil Carney is.
Like if we're talking about immigration I can talk about how we need some immigration to not become a shrinking aging population and about the positives and try and focus on things that we agree could be improved or changed. Or if they're talking about how socialism is going to turn Canada into Venezuela rather than trying to focus on the nonsense I just talk about how I want to make sure kids are safe and fed and people are cared for and stuff; values my parents usually share when not looking through MAGA coloured glasses.
It mostly works, since I've been doing this we haven't had any kind of more heated discussions. I have to be the adult.
But it feels like a terrible choice between having discussions that feel like a wedge is being driven between us or choosing the wedge that just drives me away (since having to do this basically makes me feel isolated). But I want my parents to be happy even if it means I have to suffer a bit.
And my mom was going on this weekend about how toxic and divisive politics have become... all the while talking about how terrible the left is. Before my new tactics I once mentioned to her that she's doing what she is against but she literally couldn't see it.
It sucks. I feel your pain.