[Jay Random]

OK, ranking the flames from most to least liked:

1. The flame from an oxyacetylene torch. Those are pretty damn cool.

2. The flame on a charcoal barbecue. I love the way it flares up when a bit of fat from the meat drips on it. Plus, it means food!

3. The flame on a propane barbecue. Close, but not quite the same. Also means food, which is still good.

4. Bunsen burners. As a kid, I liked adjusting them until they gave that really hot blue flame that was practically invisible, but you did not want to get your fingers anywhere near it.

5. Logs burning in a fireplace.

6. Yule logs burning on video. OK, it's not a real flame, but you don't have to pay for firewood or clean up the fireplace afterwards. Sort of like the difference between playing hockey and watching other people play it on TV.

7. Barbecue lighters are handy, plus they mean food is coming eventually.

8. Zippos are fun to play with, until it's time to change the flint.

9. Matches are fun to play with until you burn your fingers.

10. Bics are boring and just sort of there. But they get the job done.

11. Candlelight can be nice.

12. Tea lights, not quite so much, because they don't last.

13. Scented candles. I mean, WTF? Does somebody actually get their jollies by setting perfume on fire? The room stinks for hours afterwards. Phew.

14. The flame in something I did not want to burn up after playing with one of the other kinds of flame, especially #1 above.

15. Fire on the stove. This means no food, and is a Bad Thing.

16. Like #14, but it's my house that's on fire.

17. My least favourite flame, the one burning in my guts after I eat tacos with salsa that was way, way, way too hot. Or vindaloo, whichever. One of these days, my intestinal flora are going to take Mexico and India to court for war crimes.