[Resolute 14]

As I have mentioned at various times recently, usually to rant against Facebook, a close friend of mine has had her relationship to her husband come suddenly to an end as a result of him reconnecting with an ex girlfriend of his.

This came as a surprise to her, and for the last six weeks or so, has been completely devastated. Up until very recently, she desperately wanted to fix this relationship, trying repeatedly to have him enter into counselling. He went a couple times with her, but never kept an open mind, so it turned out to be a waste of time.

Despite stating several times that he was leaving, her husband did not actually move out until about five weeks after he told her it was over. During that time, they fought a lot, but she always made it clear that she would rather work it out than simply end the relationship. We believe now that a main driver for this was that he was trying to establish control over her. She was becoming inconvienent, and he might have been hoping that the threat of leaving would snap her in line. That is speculation, however.

He has always been passive aggressive, and there were several times where she was afraid that some his aggression would be turned against her. He did not, fortunately for him, because if it had, I'd be in a jail cell right now.

We have realized that he has some major league narcissistic tendancies, and his childhood was not exactly ideal. This is something he never would tell either my friend, or would tell a counsellor. He has always been manipulative, and generally has a low tolerance of anyone he can't use. Ultimately, I believe I was only tolerated because of my close friendship with her.

That is the background. What I am looking for legal advice on is on what has happened in the last ten days or so.

As my friend finally got tired of the fighting, and was finally starting to accept that he was leaving, she just stopped responding to his prods and pushes. So, he changed his tactics. Instead of arguing, he started to listen. He started to act like he cared what she had to say (while never saying anything himself). We believe that it was more of his manipulation. Keep her on the line, keep her hoping. They were still getting separated, but he was telling her that it was because he wanted time to decide if he could be happy with her. He often said that "maybe we could get back together sometime", with the length of time varying from two months to a year.

My friend, at this time, still desperately wanted to make this relationship work, so grabbed for this chance immediately. She wanted the life she thought she had back so badly that she was getting sick.

During this time, he started telling her he was still attracted to her. He also said that if she didn't sleep with him, he'd find someone else. It was implied that no sex = no chance he stays. Caught in an emotional hole, she gave in. He was also highly reluctant to agree not to sleep around on her while they were separated, and she felt that he put her into a position where she had to keep him sexually satisfied for him to stay.

While he did tell her to say no if she felt she was being used, he most certainly knew what mental and psychological state she was in, and being the manipulative type of person he is, he exerted that to his full advantage.

Fortunately, her parents, myself, and other friends of her have finally convinced her that he was simply using her, and she finally broke all contact with him. We did not know about his blackmail at the time. When she called him over to tell him, he brought over a separaration agreement, with his half signed. We believe that he had done that in the hopes of frightening her back in line. It didn't work.

Shortly after this, she told me what he did at the end. She felt like a fool for giving in to him, and said she knew all along she was being a fool, but that hope was overpowering.

I told her not to blame herself, as he is a guy who simply uses people. He took advantage of her emotional state. In my opinion, this was sexual assault. She is starting to feel the same, and rather than blaming herself, she is starting to focus on how he blackmailed her into having sex with him.

We are of the opinion that this is enough to file for an immediate divorce, without waiting the full year.

But we are wondering if she has a legal recourse against him for his actions.

This post was made with her full knowledge and agreement, and she is fine with revealing background details I have shared. I am sending her the link to this thread as well. She is also looking to speak with a lawyer about all of this, but we wanted to get a wider perspective on what options she has. The advice of anyone with a legal background would be most appreciated.