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Originally Posted by curves2000
Trust me I do deal with aging parents although they are not what I described earlier. If and when they get there, I will try whatever I have to do keep them out of LTC. Some people need to be there 100% but some people just need assistance with basic tasks and some light housework yet their children just warehouse them like you say. A mom can have 10 children but sometimes 10 children can't look after one mom is an old expression.
I see stark differences between friends of mine with regards to care for parents/grandparents. Some think that home care nurses are maids or LTC workers when they are not. Others simply say they can't live with their parents after moving out at 18 and just put them in a home. A little help can go a long way.
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This just doesn’t happen the way you think it does. It’s possible that someone is doing this with their parents, but the unfortunate reality is that people end up in LTC because it’s no longer safe for them to be in their own or in their current situation. It’s not kids putting their parents there because they don’t want to help them. Its parents who fall continuously and need to have 911 called time and time again, or they have a loss of cognitive function so they don’t know how to do things on their own.
You might not be there yet, but these people need more than just a little bit of homecare. They need someone there 24/7, and as their activities of daily living become increasingly difficult (it only goes one way), they need constant care and supervision. Eating, dressing, toileting and in many cases feeding themselves. It’s not just a little thing here or there, and it’s much more difficult than just helping Grandpa get a coffee or whatever.
I think you’re oversimplifying this and making it sound as though kids are putting their parents in these facilities so they can jetset and hangout. That’s so far from the case. The chronology I’ve been through twice is that elderly people think they’ll live on their own forever. They end up in the hospital and the situation they’re living in is no longer possible due to safety and well-being issues, so the hospital (and professionals there) make the decision that their next stop is a long-term care facility. It’s not debatable, unless you have both the capacity and setup (like the physical setup in your home) to care for an elderly person.
Anyway, tldr; this kind of attitude reminds of people talking about people abusing social services in general. I’m sure it happens, but it’s not the glamorous, incredible grift it gets made out to be. Probably for 99% of the cases it’s people in those situations who wish it wasn’t so.