Quote:
Originally Posted by V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan
If you’re one of those guys that suggest alpha podcasts, I would be very concerned to taking advice from you. Also ever since that toxic conversation, I’ve been experiencing sleepless where I truly feel like I can’t sleep. I hate the idea of exercise. Just a stupid way to get my clothes wet with sweat…
|
Hey Vinny. Good to hear from you. Not sure about the alpha podcasts piece but the information GGG put in his post is bang on. Everything he said in there is correct. Scott Galloway just released a book called Notes on Being a Man. He is very concerned with the situation for young males in our society and you are a bang on example of what he is talking about. Unfortunately, our current society is very difficult to navigate for someone like you. That does not mean it is impossible so don't give up. All the advice people gave you in the mental health thread applies and I hope you applied some of it.
Nobody is telling you what YOU need to do. You need to take the comments as suggestions, coming from a good place of trying to help you, that you can consider and choose which ones work for you. (Ironically, I just said no one is telling you what to do and then immediately tell you what to do. Facepalm. I will leave it for posterity but I am suggesting what you may want to consider doing...)
The following is all in my opinion, but comes from someone with a lot of experience, and ironically in a situation not that different from your own.
1. You didn't say how much you are currently working but if it is not over 30 hours per week you need to make getting additional work a priority. This will help your self esteem, bank account and make sure you are not cocooning in your house.
2. I would seriously go through GGGs post again and look at how it applies to your life. Make a list, am I doing this or not? If not, how can I incorporate it into my life? And then work on it. Start with small steps and build from there. A 20 minute walk outside absolutely counts as exercise if you are not doing anything else. You just have to take the first, smallest step for each thing you want to change.
3. I won't tell you what to do about your education and career path. I think you have that under control. I would advise you to seriously consider whether you are doing everything you can to make it happen. If not, what could you improve on? How to do that? What is the first step?
4. I also suffer from social isolation of my own making. But I am taking steps to work on that. It is a very real thing and contributes to depression, other mental health issues and pisses off parents and spouses. A possible solution for you may to explore something like Calgary Sport and Social club. Pick an activity that sounds fun, sign up and show up. If you hate it don't go back and pick a different activity. You may find it is a ton of fun, surrounded by people who may become a friend or mate and you may even get some exercise. If I was in your shoes this would be my go-to to meet people and 'get out there.' Other than your workplace it would be a great place to meet people who have a similar mindset as you, otherwise they wouldn't be there.
5. As hard as it is, I would try to talk to your mom about your plan. First make a plan and put it on paper. This is my goal, these are the steps I need to take to reach that goal and this is the first thing I am working on. Do the same for your non-work life. Show her that. Communicate with her, appreciate her comments, but let her know you will make the decision, not her. This shows that you have a plan, are working on it, appreciate her advice and support, but that you will decide. I know this can be hard, but if you are going to live there, you need to remove this conflict from your life.
It may seem hard to see everyone comment without feeling like they are piling on you. You did ask for help, and people provided it. Please don't take it as a criticism but as
suggestions on how you can improve your situation.
I hope you continue to get better. If you are feeling down, don't hesitate to post. Maybe in the mental health thread, which may be a bit more accepting, but even posting can be a journaling-type exercise and help you sort out your thoughts.
Take care.