[TorqueDog]

I had two separate time-wasting arseholes on FB Marketplace today. I'm selling a rather high-end couch, asking $2,800 for what was a $6,000 top-grain leather couch new. It's in wonderful shape, very comfortable, but we're changing up the place and it won't work for the layout we want.

First one: Asks if I'll do $2,500, I accept. They say they can come later today, asks if I can do e-transfer; yes, of course. "I'll send you the transfer password when we get there." Splendid. I start moving some things to make it easier to start moving the couch. The e-transfer shows up in my junk mail. Why? Because it's interac2enotification@gmail.com sending it. Scammer. FFS. I attempt to load up the phishing URL in an isolated VM with my VPN running so I can start writing insults as credentials in their phishing form as I'm waiting for my laundry to dry, but their stupid link doesn't even work properly.

Second one: "Hi James, is this still available? Would you do 200"... now I'm not going to immediately assume malice, there's not even a question mark, I'm thinking maybe they missed the last zero, so I ask "did you mean $200 or $2,000?" Oh they confirm "hundred". Oh f-ck you. So screw it, you're #2 today. "What time can you pick up today, what part of town are you coming from?" They're coming from the NE, so I give them an address in Braeside. It takes the idiot a while but they finally reply "this is giving me the address of an RBC bank". "Yes", I reply, "once you get there you can head inside and withdraw the other $2,600."

As I wrote this, another person asked if the couch was still available. We shall see if this is time-waster #3 on the day....