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She was very patient in allowing me to determine the pace, even though it must be irritating as hell for her when she must want to yell at me, "This is your problem, this is why you have it, and this is what you have to do to fix it!!' Clearly, she never did.)
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There is no set timeline for recovery. Been there done that with my own therapy years ago. She is leading you in a direction where you come out and admit this is your problem. Telling someone does no good until they realize it themselves. She sounds like an excellent therapist who knows what she is doing.
Here is something to think and ponder on. Suicide is not a matter of choice. The profound depression that motivates most suicides is a disease. This disease causes a level of pain so profound that it twists one’s ability to assess risk, to make good choices, to maintain a sense of future possibilities. When people act out of this depression, they are not exercising free choice. They are falling victim to a disease. This disease is not about logic or self interest. It is about an immediate desire to be dead.
Don't ever lose that rational mind of yours. That's why you're still here with us today. Don't give up and keep fighting
