Nah, I can't see couples counselling fixing this.
Monahammer, your wife sounds selfish, irresponsible and immature. As a woman who's been on the other end of a ####ty spouse, it's not going to get any better. At the very least, I'd be cancelling that vacation and consulting a lawyer. You don't even have to pull the trigger on anything right away, but definitely get a consult booked for when/if divorce is initiated. If nothing else, it gives you some control back over everything that's going on. Sorry that you're dealing with this.
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