Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliver
I think we accept it because there aren't really better alternatives. Nobody is blind or ignorant to this, but it's typically more beneficial as individuals and members of society to work with the system/go with the flow.
You really aren't trapped in a suburb, in a city, in a condo/house/whatever. You could literally drive to a parking lot somewhere in the woods, maybe push your car into a lake if you want to hide your starting point, and just walk a few mountain ranges over and start a life of seclusion playing 100% by your own rules. Go up north and you'll never be found.
Problem is that would suck. Cold, hunger, disease, discomfort, injury, seclusion, loneliness, toil, danger, etc.
I do think we're sold a crock of #### when young that happiness is a goal or a destination. Realistically, happiness comes and goes and you have to work and prepare and plan to achieve as many moments of stressless relaxation and happiness as you can, but they're punctuations in your otherwise banal, stressful, hard, tiring, normal existence. It's the way it is and it's okay. I do think we're treated to - and ungrateful for - general comfort: indoor plumbing, relative safety, healthcare, HVAC, abundant food, etc. The general state of humans for most of history (and probably still today) is suffering.
Happiness isn't guaranteed. It's not even possible to exist in a state of happiness or bliss as some sort of general or permanent state. Happiness is just an offset or nice feeling compared to general hardship.
Some people are wired better to just exist in a happier state than others, but suffering does come for us all throughout our lives.
Personally, I do my best to try to increase the probability of the best outcomes while preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. Don't get yourself into debt. Save your pennies. Try not to make enemies. Do right by people. Take care of your ####. Don't procrastinate. Nurture your friendships. The basics. Also plan for a fun thing every weekend and try to do something chill every week day (exercise, play cards, go for wings, read, wax your car, whatevs). You have to carve out time for fun. It's mandatory.
All easier said than done, of course, and let's get back to our wiring is going to dictate so much of our mood/outlook/happiness; however, for what can be controlled you have to control to the best of your ability.
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I agree with what you have here. For me personally, I struggled until I made minor changes in my lexicon that IMO made major differences in how I approached and thought about my own personal ethos and philosophy.
Instead of happiness, it's peace and acceptance. Happiness implies perfection and something specific I want. Peace and acceptance can be none of those, but I am OK with it and I can move on. Happiness is fleeting and often only a smaller piece of something bigger. I think that's why happiness seems so odd at times. It's the final product of a longer journey/wider situation. The journey is just as, if not not more important, than the small point in time where the happiness shows up.
Instead of struggles/suffering/life/living, it's merely different states of survival. Whether it's a day to day with wealth/poverty, or the day to day of my own mind, making it to the next day is just part of the circumstances that is required. Every day has something you have to overcome. Sometimes these things are familiar, other times, they are not.
Instead of control, there is only influence and self fulfilling prophecy. The best self fulfilling prophecy I have identified for myself, is to choose self fulfilling state of peace. I cannot control the environment perfectly for a specific outcome, but I can little things to influence the odds of an outcome I desire and the way I think when the outcome is not what I desire. If I cannot do something to make myself smile right away, it also doesn't hurt to try to do something to try and help someone else smile to pass the time.
IMO, these minor differences in wording helped me better understand things like the psychological principals of reversed effort, serenity prayer, Hakuna Matata etc. I'm not going to say I've figured everything out, but I will say that I feel like embracing this has helped me a little in being faster in figuring out if something is worth doing or thinking or not.