Jon Bois is the best.
"Hello National Football League! My name is Jon. I'm not sure which of these floors corresponds with the bureau of statistics for the Moline Universal Tractors football team... I'm sure it's one of these, I'm sorry if I'm yelling at the wrong floor."
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"The great promise of the Internet was that more information would automatically yield better decisions. The great disappointment is that more information actually yields more possibilities to confirm what you already believed anyway." - Brian Eno
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