[McG]

Mavi diary - day 29

Dear diary. Damn I look good in red. I wonder which teams play in red?

I was barraged and assaulted by every reporter in Canada wanting to know my contract status. I channeled Leon and told myself that I was good enough, and smart enough to get through it. Once I finish this, I’m going to call Leon to tell him how I did. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night where he is…I just need to hear his voice. I’ve also doubled my playlist by adding “heart is so jet lagged”. Sigh. I miss Leon. My agent tells me that isn’t enough reason to sign but I can’t play with team Canada forever. It was like an inquisition.

Speaking of inquisitions, I have a hilarious story to share diary!

Leon and I were at the Vatican and we brought along our posse of water carriers and fawnees for ego stroking, and some guy yells “hey it’s mcjesus and Leon and their wives!” Leon said to me “hey sexy C, that guy is wearing your work shirt.” He was right; an oilers shirt like the one I wear and it had my name and number. I don’t know where he got it but I was sure it wasn’t me because I was over here looking at him. Also, I was wearing my best outfit without colour that day. I only wear an oilers shirt on the ice because it would be uncomfortable to sleep in over top of my leafs pajamas.

Anyways, the guy and Leon and I were bundled away by the Swiss guards and interrogated. I was asked why he called me mcjesus. I said that is what 1 million unwashed call me. I was asked if I have ever performed miracles and I said a lot! I said that medical recovery was one of my super powers and was documented on my network Sportsnet. I’ve also been crucified by the press and I have no marks to show. I explained that the biggest miracle that I’ve performed was carrying a bunch of losers and no goods into the Stanley cup finals by myself…twice! Leon coughed at that one but I just gave him my “hush, sweetie” eyes and he was quiet.

They asked me if I could walk on water and I said even better…I could skate on it and do many crossovers. They looked really mad about that one!

It didn’t look good at all at this point but one of the sherpas (I think her name is Lauren) showed videos of me when I had 21 ailments and people praying for me to score.

Anyways, they let us off with a warning but kept the guy with my work shirt behind for something called a “Spanish inquisition”. I said fine, I didn’t need my hockey shirt back and I have plenty of fans just like that guy so they could keep him.

I guess the moral of the story is not to wear my shirt to the Vatican!

Ps diary. In case you missed it, I managed to get a bunch of Oiler games delayed because the original start time interfered with Lenard’s walkies. I told Gary that I honestly didn’t think that he could be so inconsiderate, but looks like he got it fixed up for me. Thanks Gary!

Chat tomorrow diary.