Quote:
Originally Posted by McG
Mavi Diary - Day 2
Dear Diary. Well, it’s a happy and sad day. Life’s like that. Got the news that wormy fell for the oldest trick in the book; the old GM switcheroo. He never should’ve fallen for “it’s Ken Holland, GM, and I’d like to talk about your new contract.” Ken and Wormy are about the same age (old!) so both probably have each others old contact info; old people never update their blackberries or whatever they are called.
I’m not as sad as I might be though for a couple of reasons. Now I don’t have to hold back or pretend I’m injured so that I don’t hit bonuses and put us over the cap. Also, wormy did the old man sprawl so I’m looking forward to Leon and I getting some space back. I’m hoping that Leon doesn’t know yet as I’d kinda like to get first dibs on whatever wormy left behind. That’s another thing; for a guy who identifies as a worm, he sure didn’t appreciate my dig in motivation speeches. And he kept pretending not to hear me inspiring the team because he would keep talking. So not very sad. Also more money for me!
Speaking of money, BFF Stan signed the only player who falls down without contact more than me! I spoke with “Andrew” on the phone. He phoned me! The nerve of some people. He said that he was looking forward to seeing some power play time but I set him straight on that. I told him that as a conn smythe winner, I only don’t play in the last 5 1/2 minutes of the deciding game. He mentioned something about there isn’t “any I in team” but I don’t know what school he went to because (and I told him straight up) that there was “me” in team and that was all that “I” needed. Also note to file: I wonder when Gary B and the nhl will be scheduling the drop off and photos of the conn smythe? I can’t be the only person in history that doesn’t have pics of himself with it.
Stan also said that he got me a laser for free agents day. I said great but didn’t mean it because I already have a great shot. He said no he signed Curtis laser and I think it’s disrespectful to me to have your name and nickname together. Honestly, should my name be Connor the best player in the world who makes the second most money, or Leon makes the most money but second best player in the world? See what I mean? His name is probably bob smith but Curtis laser for the fans. No one minds a little showmanship but come on; I’ll ask Leon to give him a welcome to oilers skate to skate kick.
Well diary I have to get back to my painting; someone stupidly dropped off red roses (I think it’s more Katzie red roses shenanigans) and I have to remove the colour. It’s almost too much choice to decide to make them black or white, but they have to blend into my house’s colour scheme. Painted them black btw.
I don’t think I’ll sign today; good buddies Mitch and Austin are taking me to the ice capades in Vegas! I know right! Clever idea for Mitch to get us season passes for that.
Talk tomorrow!
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Mavi Diary - Day 3
Well Diary you are going to have to be prepared to dig in today…and I mean right now because I’m literally writing to you. Yeah. It’s time to show one of my three emotions. It’s disgust. (my other two diary for your reference are meh and over celebrating).
I’m disgusted by all of these Calgary Flames joining my quest. Andrew, and Curtis (I guess Lazar is his real last name and not his nickname…which if we add a “y” as normal would be “lazy” and I can’t stand people being lazy because there’s only room on this team for Leon and I to get on ice rest periods which isn’t lazy by the way) and even the son of the player who was traded for the flames GM once upon a time. I just said that I liked their uniforms (the black or white ones because the red is the same colour as ketchup and that scares me) and I didn’t mean that we had to go and acquire the set! So I’m mad about that.
Andrew texted me for clarity on his role and I told him that I play left, right and centre areas of the ice. I’m the captain and coach knobby says I drive the bus so here we are. Andrew said what about ends of the rink and I told him that I didn’t know what he was talking about. There’s only one end and I point my skates at it and that’s that. I did acknowledge that I have spoken to the goalies by accident in the dressing room but mostly I just stare at them from the bench when I have to look at them. I restrict my emotions to 2 when I look at them. Meh and disgust. Not once, not even once, have they come down to celebrate me or Leon’s goals or assists. Not once. They don’t even come to the bench to celebrate. So I don’t ever let them see my over celebration emotions. I mean why would I share? Do they pass it to me? So they don’t even help me win stuff. I told coach knobby that we should play without goalies for awhile to test it out and we scored lots of goals like that.
Look diary, even Lenard the dog got closer to my 1,000 point celebrations than any “goalie”. I’m also a bit mad at Lenard because he immediately grabbed the stick when I had it, and he knows that’s MY thing to grab someone else’s stick when they are using it.
I also heard that stupid Calgary got two new hotels and they are getting a new rink. Katzie promised that oilers would have the best but it looks like he broke the rose ceremony covenant that we made.
Just for that, I’m mad and not signing anything today. Not autographs or contracts.
Okay diary. I’m all out of primary emotions. I’m going to work on my new one because I think I have to grow. Can you guess what it is? No, not “blue steel” you big silly. It’s moping. I’m telling myself it’s a cross between meh and disgust. It’s tough to pull off, let me tell you. I just think about that time that Leon didn’t pass to me when I was open. It should be useful!
See you tomorrow Diary!