Sorry to hear. My wife didn't have mental illness but her midlife crisis certainly teetered on her being a little crazy and making poor decisions. My aunt's diagnosis with terminal cancer during the same timeline provided a bit of a distraction for me and I probably should have seeked more help than I did as it wasn't easy dealing with a partner of 30+ years in the blink of an eye turning on me. That said after a couple of years I'm slowly building myself back together and it's important to realize that no matter how bad you feel today, it's a long game and things will ultimately get better once this timeline is put behind you.
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