[CaptainCrunch]

The Phantom Menace - 2.5/5
A jarring use of CGI, and in some cases a radical overload of CGI. I was more captured in the story or Palpatine, Darth Sidious then anything else. Ewan was a exceptional casting choice. I think they pulled back on the Anakin story by making him a young innocent. A more angry teenaged Anakin would have been a better choice.


Attack of the Clones - 1/5
The hardest of the previews to watch. There were some great nuggets in there in terms of Lee as Dooku. but the dialogue didn't work, and it effected Hayden's performance. You had to really search hard to find those nuggets. I like how Palpatine had like 30 seconds in this move.

Revenge of the Sith - 3.5/5
I liked this movie, but it would have benefitted from the Harry Potter Treatment and been split into 2 movies. The bones of the fall of Skywalker were there, but when you read the novel, and the seduction of Anakin by Sidious its breathtaking and didn't make it into the movie. Loved the payoff of Jar Jar handing the galaxy to evil in the last movie. Ewan was exceptional.

Solo - 2/5
The actors tried, they all did, its weird it wasn't a dialogue issue, it was just an underwhelming story line.

Rogue One - 4.5/5
Great movie that came from the original crawl of ANH, everything worked and we didn't have the Jedi involved. We finally saw the rage filled Vader that we wanted to see.

Star Wars - 4.5/5
Classic, but George can't write natural dialogue.

The Empire Strikes Back - 5/5
Everything worked on this one, the writing, the effects, the fact that this is a movie where the Empire just outright smashed everyone and the Rebels are left with very little hope. Its still creepy that Lando was wearing Han's clothes.


Return of the Jedi - 3.5/5
A lot of really strong elements, we finally see Sidious again, and he owned his part of the movie. The Ewoks killing armoured professional soldiers with arrows sold a lot of lunch boxes, but was cringy.

The Force Awakens - 2.5/5
It was a retelling of ANH, but with a deathstar that could shoot deathstars out of its mouth it was so big. It left these really intriguing questions for me in the end, like who is Snoke. And after watching Rey with the Lightsaber I wondered if she was a clone of Anakin or Palpatine because of how she fought. Kylo just wasn't a strong villain for me, but we had Hux who was greasy and seemed like a really strong Nazi officer.

The Last Jedi - 2/5
We got knock knock jokes. Snoke is killed in a terrible joke move. Suddenly Rey's parents are really noone. the story line on the gambling world was awful and Finn started becoming the whoohoo guy. A lot of really questionable story telling decisions, that disconnected the first movie and the overarching story line. I really hated the Luke portrayal through most of the movie, but at least he died well.



Rise of Skywalker - -3/5
Awful in every single way. They had to insert Palpatine and ram a stick up his butt in a brutal rip off of Dark Empire. They took really cool Sith Lore and pissed on it. The actors at that point had mostly given up. Rose couldn't fight in the Rebellion because she had to study. Lando was his creepy self. Just everything was bad, even the CGI work and the ship design was outright lazy. The final battle was outright stupid from horses on space ships. To Rey beating Palpatine by crossing her swords. If there was a movie to have the negatives burned, it was this one. Sadly the Actors took the blame for this one, but they just didn't care by this point. But the writers and JJ completely pooped on this.