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Originally Posted by blankall
Asking for permission too much will kill the mood. Once again, I'm working from the position that you're in tune enough with your partner to notice when they are not having a good time or enjoying what's going on, and working within the parameters of the "normal" acts. I would consider anything that leaves a mark outside of normal, and where do you draw the line between a "smack" and a grab. During consensual sex are you asking for permission every time you grab a body part? Obviously, if you are grabbing in a way to hurt the other person that's different.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blankall
Hard to answer this question without getting overly crude. But there's typically activity going on that's well beyond that going on at that point. Once again, not talking about any smack that's going to cause pain or leave a mark.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blankall
What's a strike? Is your hip hitting their buttocks a strike?
Edit: Couldn't you also define a grab as a strike. It's a strike but you hang on afterwards. You have to verbally ask permission every time you grab a new body part, despite the fact you're well into the act?
Anyways, I think we're getting way off topic here. But I don't think you can just put a black/white strike line, where things are off limits without verbal consent.
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Not to pick on you but In a way I will but all your responses like you should just know based on her looks is concerning and how ppl get into trials like these.
It's not that simple as you make it seem . I've been with my wife for 17 years . We have relations settings from 0 to 10. Nothing is just based on how us think the other is enjoying it based on perception. Again 17 YEARS! we still are vocal on every step because we are 2 different people . Yes we both want sex at the same time but the type of we both want at that time can be very different and very different at different points of the encounter. Some times it starts as a 10 anything gos but as stamina and certain let's say acts can take extra stuff ( to body has limits ) by the end it may be a 2 or 3 ending. . The opposite is true to we both may start out tired and only a 2 or 3 but by the end it ends up a 10 in kink. Then it's like didn't expect that.
All those scenarios are because of constantly asking "Do you like that" Do you want me to do this" Is this still working for you " " How do you want me to continue " etc etc....
Asking questions usually leads to I want this or that and her asking does that work for you or me just telling her I actually need this postion right now for various reasons. Like I have a bad knee so I can't do somethings some times or If I'm willing to play thru the pain like. Like sure I can try to do that my knees #### but let's try it or I'm sorry I can't do that know my knees pretty bad today can we try this instead ( usually want they want just in a more comfortable position to me.
By doing that and doing what your partner wants in the moment can lead and escalate quickly from earlier nose to yeses to different acts asked previously. Maybe they were not into that act when you asked at first but you did what they wanted at the time now they are all hot and bothered and want the next level so they ask you to do what you wanted to do to be all hot and bothered.
Like I'm just saying talking and asking questions recently during sex doesn't kill the mood. If any thing it enhances it because the worst she can say no but if you do what she likes and she's having a good time cuz you listened to her if not during that encounter maybe later in a different encounter she'll be open to some things you've asked in the past.
Communication is key in sex . Not just before and after but during. My partner shot down many ideas during but after some time and thought where she didn't need to make a in the moment type of decision started to suggest things herself and the only happened because we where constantly checking in.
I haven't ever been in to sex with a partner unless they were vocal about what was working or not during a sexual encounter. I don't like just going off perception. I'm a man I'm usually going to have a fun time but if my partner can give me feed back on what's working for her and what's not that's even better. I wanna have sex but I also want her to be having the same level of fun as I'm having and I'm no mind reader.
The scenarios your describing is from porn. But even what you see is discussed way before the camera is wrong. Even James Dean (Male actor) was in some hot water years ago for doing sex moves outside of what was discussed prior to shooting videos.
IMO the only base line to 2 partners is Dick going into a ##### or what ever your partner is. Or has. The moment of insertion happens the sexual contract is a moving agreement. Some times it's basic missionary and it starts and ends like that and some times it's starts as the basic sex agreement but through const communications you house ends up looking like someone broke in and you've got god knows what was used and you all lubed up and sweating in another part of the house not even rembinbering certain parts of what lead to it and that only happens from constant communication.
Just because you or your partner like some thing a minute ago dosen't mean you like it still.
I want to touch on your a strike comment just a bit. Short answer is yes , you ask .. " you want me to grap your hips , you want legs up or down? To want me to grab
Your tit's and how hard? You want me to pull your hair and how hard? You want me to rub your clit while I'm f you?
Sorry if sort of a "crude " post as you put it but this all seems pretty basic stuff... you want me to spank you? Do you want me to spank you like this or like this? Too light okay how bout this still to light ? Then how bought this then .
You pose the question about how it ruins the mood to much asking questions and you should just know . Brother I'm here to tell you the "you should just know falls under like 20 layers a minute in what consent is and isn't and what non conent ot what consent is changes especially in the matter of seconds both ways .
Like I said 17 years with my wife and we have known each other for 23 years consent sexually is a constant second by second update.