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Old 04-03-2025, 05:20 PM   #12
Titan2
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Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: On the cusp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by V1nnyTh3Flam35Fan View Post
I was the one who made a post simply stating “I hate myself.”

This time around, I have people verbally saying the following phrases to me (it’s my parents; I have to confess that Ive been diagnosed with a developmental disorder that slows my progress to becoming independent unlike other neurotypical people):

“You’ve been a complete waste of our time, money and effort. You always are working a dead end job (I’m a pharmacy assistant btw). It’s not paying you enough money ($17/hour). What are you going to do with your life? Two years of grinding with your studies to become a licensed pharamacist only to come up as a failure. I can’t believe how much BS you put on us!”

These are the words my mom said to me. This all stemmed from an argument between me and her regarding how I should approach practicing for my oral test to become a pharmacist.

If my parents have become sick of my existence as a mentally slow (I could say the R-word but that ruins my already low self esteem) person, I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth continuing on in this world.
What everyone else is saying is correct. This is an abusive relationship. She does not get to determine your value. Only you can do that. You already have success. Celebrate that success. Just because you have not achieved your objective, yet, does not, in any way mean you have not succeeded.

Not sure if you have been through pharm school or just trying to get in but either way preparation will lead to success. What your mother thinks about that, or you, does not matter. AT ALL.

As hard as it can be to do, you have to stand up for yourself.

You can get counselling through your doctor's office. Your pharmacy may have an employee assistance program.

A personal story, I accidentally went off my meds last week. I had very dark thoughts just like you did. I figured out what happened, and I am back on them and have normalized. Drugs can help. I also see a therapist regularly. That helps immensely, particularly when you are in the situation you are. The people who are supposed to protect, nurture and encourage you are attacking you. That is a mind #### and you have to learn how to deal with it. That's what the pros are for.

Feel free to reach out. There are lots of people willing to help. The suicide help line is also a great resource to just be able to talk to someone. I know how overwhelming the thoughts can be. At the moment, they seem right. Don't let one moment rob your entire life.

We are all pulling for you.







Everything after this point is advice on preparing. I realize you did not ask for this, so feel free to ignore it. It is good advice though so may be helpful. If you are doing it all already, it means you are on the right path.

NSFW!
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