[TrentCrimmIndependent]

When you can't leave a situation that's draining you the only solution is to reframe the situation and what it means to you in your mind. Because it's not the situation, but your interpretation of the situation that's ultimately causing the depletion.

Downplaying the importance of "winning" favour in those power dynamics is pretty key. Have to take everything personal out of it, and that includes judging the person who is making people's lives more difficult (this is probably the hardest part). The more we berate them in our heads and build a case against them internally about the injustice of it, the more of a grip it has on us and our energy. Have to pull back and diminish their importance, as well as that of their opinion.

Playing up the temporary aspect of a situation has helped me. Anything starts going sideways and I tell myself "good thing this won't be my problem soon" (even if it's a ways off, it's a good mindset that helps you zoom out and not over-invest in a problematic situation). Pretend like you've put in your two weeks and the hard work and contributions you're making are you being charitable with your gifts & time. Act like you chose it. With that frame of mind problems that do arise don't affect your self-esteem because you're not tying your identity to it.

Segregating/compartmentalizing work and home life is also important. Protecting the integrity and peace of your personal time like everything depends on it. You need variety (work, home, family, personal activities) that you've given your full attention to in order to address different basic needs. If work is bleeding into that, it prevents you from doing so. Protect your time, turn off your notifications if possible and build a mental dam.

And gratitude for small ####. Think about something you're looking forward to, someone who improves your life, what has gone right in your day. You can't be upset, depressed or depleted while you feel grateful. Make a habit of searching for the good #### in your day and that's less time stuck in those terrible headspaces. You'll also be receptive to finding other things that bring you joy and relief.

So much of it is an internal game, while a lot of people have grown up to put external conditions on a pedestal and let them rule their internal experience. But wherever you go, there you'll be. Which is why the same problems crop up in totally different places and situations for many people. Our core negative assumptions about things and people can create a sort of self-fulfilling procephecy where it turns out exactly as we fear/expect. So those are what we have to look at and work on, cause that's what we can control, right?

You have to get yourself to where if you sat alone in a room with yourself with no distractions it's a good time, because you're good company. Many people are living with bad company between their ears and that's first and foremost their greatest ongoing issue, and that can't be fixed with things, approval or monetary gain - its only a temporary fix.

Change how you look at things and the things you look at change. Not easy by any means but truthfuly... this is the way.