Quote:
Originally Posted by TrentCrimmIndependent
Ask more questions, be more present, respond thoughtfully instead of just the usual platitudes.
Especially for men, being responded to with a hollow equivalent of "there, there" after being honest or vulnerable, nothing will drive them back into silence and withdrawal more effectively.
Any opportunity where you can be real and empathize with another person is worth pursuing. Who knows what that bit of authentic connection can do for them (or keep them from doing).
Most of what makes therapy effective for patients is just being listened to in an intimate setting. That doesn't have to be reserved just for a professional though.
That's not to say we know what drove him to do this nor can anything justify it, but it's worth saying anyways.
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To share an experience. Because I am the true hero. Actually, so maybe people can relate and recognize an opportunity.
A friend was in a violently traumatic, life-threatening situation. I heard about it several days later. I sent him a text, how ya doing kind of thing. I know about PTSD, and this would qualify. My therapist works with the police and fire department in this area. I opened up to him about her and told him he should see her. He was hesitant but appreciated it. I told him I love him; I think it shook him a bit as that is not how he talks to friends, and then he reciprocated. The next day, he was driving and was flinching at the snowflakes hitting the windshield. He called her, and she helped him.
A simple text, an open expression of caring, sharing my experience, recommending he get help. It's pretty easy to do.
He is well on the way to recovery. I shudder to think how he would have managed on his own.