Yeah, it sucks, but if you’re at the point where divorce/separation is inevitable, then there’s only two bad options available, but I think the divorce route has more opportunity to make the best of a bad situation, because at very least you can give them a healthy household 50% of the time.
My friend is a family counsellor that specializes in divorce. She’s got wild stories, but the vast majority of negative stuff is routed in a lack of personal responsibility and parents putting their needs above the children (unconsciously) or trying to mask their wants as what is best for the kids. Her advice is always routed in the idea that how you treat your co-parent is how you treat your kids, regardless of whether you know it or not.
If you don’t want to be the person she only sees sometimes, don’t be that person. That’s entirely up to you. 50/50 splits happen all the time and can be healthily arranged. And regardless of your own feelings, your daughter should never know anything but love and respect for her mother from you. Ever. If you have to fake it, sure, but you shouldn’t. She’s the mother of the person you love and you wouldn’t have your daughter if it wasn’t for her, so treat her with the level of respect and admiration that deserves.
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