My experience was ideal as it could be. My parents split up in the 80’s and kept us first and foremost. Only once did I try to play them off each other, and when I did mom picked up the phone and asked my dad about it and I was caught out. They both were furious with me and I never tried that little trick again.
They both remarried and each of my step parents became an integral part of my life. Along with them came step siblings, extra cousins, aunts/uncles and grandparents. I often say I can’t imagine my life with only 2 parents. They are still integral today. My two sets of parents became close friends and we never had issue having them both over for kids parties, holidays, etc. They would hug and genuinely cared for each other. My dad is gone, and there a chance my mom wil go before my stepdad, and I will be left with my stepmom and stepdad, and I’m thankful I still will have them.
Honestly, it was ideal and it started with them putting us kids first and foremost and burying all the crap. It must have been hard, very hard, but they did it and I respect them so much for it. I think they also tried to remember the love they had for each other at one point.
I loved my dad dearly, he was a great father and was in know ways a guy I just went to see. I miss him almost every day and he’s been gone 3 years.
I’m sorry you are going through this, but I’m happy my parents split up. It was a gift to themselves as they weren’t happy and a gift to us as having unhappy parents would be bad. It will be hard, it was on me at times, but on reflection it was the right thing and we were happy.
PM me if you’d like, there’s more to the story, there always is but I want you to know this can work.
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