Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny199r
My mental health is lower than it's ever been, and I'm starting to be more pessimistic it will get better.
I'm 41. I got out of a 12 year relationship last year (no kids).
I thought I'd be able to meet someone new, but it's starting to seem unlikely at this point. I thought (foolishly) it would be easier.
I live in the home city of my ex (for the last 5 years). I was more introverted and just did my own thing with her.
Since the breakup, I've joined 2 co-ed soccer teams (I played for a couple of university teams many years ago and enjoy it) a monthly book club and have a couple of friends that I spend time with sometimes (ie going for a bike ride on the Weekends). My hobbies generally surround being active (going to the gym, biking, yoga etc) however I've had an injured back for 4 months, despite going to physio and any type of rehabilitation treatment you can think of which has been frustrating. But for the back injury , I would have joined a running club or two, because that's how everyone and their dog seems to meet their partner these days.
I go on bigger trips (Asia for 6 weeks this year, Africa next January etc), have a lot going for me (high income job, not Bad Pitt looking but not ugly, either, no vices etc) but my life is just boring and I don't know how to change it. Every day is just the same. I haven't had much success getting with online dating (not looking for 30 year olds, just ladies that I find attractive with qualities I like, to like me back or message me back).
I'm just not seeing this ever start to get better. When I was 25 or 30, there were always people you could kind of mingle with, even at work, to have a social circle and naturally meet others but that seems to be gone now.
I understand other people have much more real problems than this, ie - serious health issues, poverty issues, and I should be content, but the thought of waking up 6 months from now and being in the same cycle makes me want to scream. Can anyone relate to this?
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I think I know how you feel....to a degree obviously, not exactly.
But its taken a long time for me to find balance and I still havent found it.
Often, we sacrifice our own lives for the sake of a spouse. In my case my spouse is...IMO too attached to her family. Which is enormous. My family however is quite small, but I have lots of friends.
But even that friendship is sacrificed because with a family her size there is something all the time, whether its a birthday or anniversary or whatever the hell....but because 'its family' its more important.
But its one-sided.
Yeah. Sometimes I want to skip your Brother's birthday to hit the pub with my buddies and watch the Flames game.
Do you know how many of your Brother's birthdays I've been to?
And the problem now is that I've said 'No' too many times and am now rarely asked.
I also loved playing sports, but competitive sports as a kid have ruined me. So I cant do that anymore. I cant play soccer, I cant play softball, hell even court-sports like tennis or badminton? Thats an ankle-destroyer waiting to happen.