Quote:
Originally Posted by CorsiHockeyLeague
I... am not sure how we're supposed to interpret "it wasn't supposed to be like this". Because it sure sounds like you're saying his decision to go to Columbus set in motion a chain of events that led to his death. Which is no more or less true than saying that his decision to start playing hockey set in motion a chain of events that led to his death... if that's a misinterpretation, you maybe should clarify because yeah that doesn't come across great.
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When my sister-in-law died suddenly at the age of 32, from a seizure, my mother/father in law both started getting caught up in the what ifs. What if they'd told her she could stay at home longer? She'd only moved out 3 years prior. Maybe if she was still living at home, they could have done something when she had the seizure. Maybe if the cabbie arriving at 615 that morning had gone to the door...maybe if they'd been a little more insistent that she give the union meeting in Edmonton a swerve because they knew how tired she was...maybe if one of them had offered to take her to the airport rather than pick her up...maybe maybe maybe...all the 'butterfly effect' stuff.
None of it would have made a difference. The seizure was massive & the effect immediate - she was gone before she came to rest on the floor. Nothing & no one would have changed that outcome. I asked 'what if you hadn't encouraged her to live her life? To move out, move on with her life, LIVE her life. Because she lived it. She was happy, fulfilled - she'd accomplished so much on her "list of life" and she was HAPPY. Isn't that what you wanted most for her - her happiness? You gave her life...and you let her live it. You can what if this till the cows come home - you can what if both sides of this, until it drives you crazy."
I think that's where Jiri was going. I thought a lot of similar thoughts today - what might have been different for those guys with one little tweak to their day/life? I don't think it's abnormal to think about/wonder about, I think it's a very typical response - because we are trying to make sense of the insensible but it's like trying to smell the color 9 - it won't happen.
It ISN'T supposed to be like this - for my SIL/husband's family/our family or for Johnny & Matthew or their families. It's unthinkable and unfathomable, these losses. It just isn't...