[Locke]

Originally Posted by D as in David

You've worked construction, too!?!? In addition to working as an accountant, a forest ranger and at the Greyhound bus depot? I've figured it out, you're really Mike Rowe, aren't you?

Originally Posted by Locke

You forgot Dishwasher, Line Cook, Canadian Tire Auto Parts...and I havent even told you guys about the Leisure Centers...I've had a lot of jobs in my life.

I even worked as a Lineman for the County fixing cell phone towers. Though that didn't last long.

I've had lots of jobs.

It builds character.

Originally Posted by Locke

Oh man...my years in construction during Calgary's boom years in the mid 2000s? The insane crap I could tell you about would astonish you.

That was a wild time.

"Sir...where is your hard hat and fall protection??"

- Do you want this deck built or not?

"Carry on....I saw nothing."

Originally Posted by Locke

And then there was my...less than successful stint as a (thoroughly unqualified) pool lifeguard.

Ugh. That did not go well. That did not go well at all. Welp, thats what you get when you're desperate for employees though.

2000s Calgary was a wild time to be alive. Work was everywhere!!

Originally Posted by D as in David

Canadian Tire Auto Parts? Oh man, you're giving me nightmare flashbacks. As a 17-year-old I got a job at Canadian Tire and they put me in auto parts - despite knowing nothing about auto parts - because I aced the "IQ test" portion of the job application process. Trying to find parts that you've never heard of and had no idea where they were located on a vehicle and I somehow had to find the correct micro-fiche slide that had the part for their particular vehicle. One of my worst jobs ever.

Originally Posted by Locke

Oh that job sucked ASS.

First of all...nobody knew what they were talking about. I at least had built a race car. I'd built a motor, I'd done vehicular work fine, but I'm no mechanic.

"Hey how do I rebuild my transmission?"

Uh...by paying someone who knows WTF they're doing?

But everyone...every single person who came to the counter starts at what I called 'Stage 10 Pissed.'

Because their car is broken and its going to cost them money and this idiot kid behind the counter doesnt know what he's talking about BECAUSE HE'S NOT A GODDAMNED MECHANIC!

"Tell me what I need to fix my car and how to do it because I'm going to buy the parts and do it myself regardless of the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing."

- Are you fooling with me right now? You dont fix those brakes properly and somebody's gonna have a bad day....do you even know how to bleed a brake line?

God that job sucked.

The mechanics were ass holes, the managers were idiots its was just a complete clownshow from start to finish.

I remember my last day and they were sad to see me go because I was one of their 'best employees' and I thought...I dont care about this place at all. If I'm one your best employees who genuinely couldnt care less about this place...you got problems.

Oh! And one of my favourites?

"The cardboard compacter is jammed, climb in there and jump around to break it all up!"

- Are you funnin' me son? Hell to the f'in NO. You jump into the giant goddamned compactor and break it up yourself. Or let Evel Knievel do it. I dont make enough money to climb into a cardboard compactor. So....no.

Originally Posted by Locke

Naw thats BS.

You know what she did? I guarantee that she was picking up random plants in the Garden Centre and got sprayed by the automated misters. Because she was probably an idiot.

I had so many encounters like that.

"These brake pads are wrong! Take them back!"

- No. These brake pads are your old ones, you just put them in the boxes for your new ones and tried to return them. Nice try but go pound sand.

God that job sucked.

I didn't even care, but if you're trying to screw us over at least put in some effort.

"I replaced all my spark-plugs and my car still wont start!!"

- I see. Well. You bought new spark plugs yes? Okay. But your spark plug wires are here in this box. What are your spark plugs getting power from? Oh? Nothing? Well I think I see the problem here. Go away.

I hated that job.

Originally Posted by jayswin

Wasn't there a thread created for your stories, or am I misremembering?

So I'm gong to bring these back in here so as to stop de-railing the arena thread.

As you can tell, I have worked a great many jobs in my time but no, I am not Mike Rowe, I just grew up in Calgary at a time when jobs were very plentiful.

So I'll tell a Canadian Tire Auto Parts story just for new content.

I was considered an 'Expert' (Narrator: He was not) but I'm also not an idiot.

So as an arbitrarily deemed 'Expert' one of my jobs was to help Customer Service on Returns.

Now, this customer wanted to return, of all things, Motor Oil.

The box was open and all of the sealing rings were cracked and, generally, rarely is Motor Oil 'defective.'

Customer states: "Its not the right Oil for my car."

Uh huh. Then why are the seals cracked on every single bottle? Here. Lets see.

So I grab a styrofoam coffee cup and pour some in. Yeah. He's poured his old oil into the bottles to try and get his money back.

Not very slick sir. I mean...you had to fool me, who genuinely couldnt care less and a 16 year old cashier who also doesnt care and wouldn't know and you still couldnt' manage it. A mensa candidate you are not.

And then later I'll tell you about having to work New Year's day.

I booked that day off though!

Manager: "Sorry but I need you here!"

- Okay. I'll be here. But you're not going to like it.

Was I found passed out in an aisle the next morning? Stay tuned to find out!

Also...guess what happens when someone takes a bunch of oil dipsticks and uses them to bridge battery terminals together! The truth might surprise you!

(if you know anything about batteries or electricity the truth really shall not surprise you)