Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadGame
I have been reading this thread without planning on posting. I would have already rated my mental as not great due to a long list of factors that have been building over the past couple years, and then in the past ten days we've had: a family member die (& within days become the victim of identity theft, complicating everything), our summer vacation venue & plans go up in flames, and a counterparty that had verbally committed to a career-defining business deal reneged at the decisive moment.
My wife suggested therapy for each of us separately on the basis of everything going on in our lives, and I have agreed. I'll be honest though, I don't have a good sense of how to make productive use of the time. The facts on the ground aren't going to change, there are still only 24 hours in a day, we still need to fund our retirement... she has suggested that therapists can offer "tools" and/or coping strategies that can be helpful... it's not like I'm finding solace at the back of the fridge or the bottom of a bottle...
If this sounds at all like you and you've gone through therapy and have some tips on how to engage in the process effectively, I'd love to hear it. I'm choosing to go into it with an open mind but it does feel a bit like an open-ended liability (time and cost), and I know I don't have great answers to "what are you hoping to get out of this". I don't know what to ask for that a therapist could possibly deliver.
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First you gotta find the right one. It took me several cracks until I found someone that I clicked with and helped me.
Second be clear about what you want to get out of it, and what you are prepared to do to achieve those outcomes. Be clear with yourself first. And then be clear with your counsellor.
One of my problems with counselling was my anxiety, and corresponding severe insomnia was from not being able to get out of my own head. In some ways, it wasn't helping me to go deeper in there. I needed coping techniques at that time.
The first one or two I tried just didn't work for me. Doesn't mean they were bad, just that they weren't for me. Though one was convinced and accused me of having a gambling addiction, which couldn't be further from the truth.
The one I finally found that worked, understood where I was at, and the priority we relieving me of the anxiety that was impacting my quality of life in a huge wave. He acknowledged that we woudln't be working on the root causes, we were in crisis mode.