Quote:
Originally Posted by PepsiFree
I don’t know if it’s helpful with the now, but a friend of mine is a dad to two and says his biggest regret with his first was how much he wished away the hard parts and how much time he wasted wanting those phases to pass, because when they disappear they take a lot of the good little things you forget to appreciate in the moment. He said with his second he even appreciated the 2 am wake ups because he realized eventually, for the good and the bad, they just stop needing you the same way.
Can’t speak to it myself, but that stuck with me.
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I struggle with this one. On one hand, your friend is correct, we should always aim to be in the moment and understand the beautiful moments (as well as the hard ones) are fleeting.
On the other hand, when this was offered to me as advice, I found it incredibly frustrating. When our kids were little we didn't have much money, weren't sleeping a ton, and simply questioned if we were doing things well enough. It was without doubt my least favourite stretch of time in my life, and hearing people with older kids say "enjoy it, it only gets harder" was soul-crushing.
For me, I wish I had somebody with older kids put a hand on my shoulder and say "you're not a bad person or dad if you don't like this as much as you thought you would."
Looking back now that my kids are bigger (and I'm not a kid in my 20s), I realize that all stages end. They change so quick that infants/toddlers/kids/teens come and go overnight it seems. To desperately cling or resist any of it is completely normal, but it's a strategy that simply can't work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erick Estrada
You will change your tune when they are mid-teens and baby/toddler photos memories pop up on your iphone (or whatever Android equivalent). I miss those days all much, much more now as the crying and diaper changing is all part of the journey.
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To counter, when my wife and I see those baby/toddler photos, we gush about how cute they were and then immediately prasie Sweet Dancing Jesus that we don't have to manage those diapered terrorists anymore.