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Originally Posted by Cube Inmate
Not much advice for bluejays here, but a lot of your situation sounds very, very familiar.
Point 1 to remember is that "incompetence poor performance" is not "cause" for termination. If you feel that your bosses are setting you up to fail through the appearance of being unable to do your job (to their satisfaction), they can let you go but it won't be "for cause" and your employment lawyer will have a field day if they try to claim that. Edit: true incompetence is grounds, but after 17 years that would be a pretty hard case to make.
Next point - like me, it sounds like your job provides you with a huge part of your self worth. If that's true, make an effort to ask yourself who you are without referring to your job. If you can answer that, remember that is all still there with our without the job. This might help reduce the stress you feel about "what if..."
Lastly, in your 40s and after 17 years in one place (again, exactly like me), it's pretty hard to imagine how you'd recover from a termination. People like us don't even know how to apply for jobs anymore!! To manage this fear myself, I'm reminding myself daily that the unknown hold as much opportunity as danger. It's possibly that being terminated would be just the kick I need to explore that unknown and find a real treasure.
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Thank you. Fair points. It’s hard being told your competence is questioned and will continue to be. Truth is I’m not the best but I get it done and I treat people well. Perhaps not aligned to my job that well but it still hurts like hell to be treated badly at the worst time. But like many I’ve got caught up chasing money and work a lot, but probably if I looked at myself from a 20 year olds eyes I’d say it’s pathetic that I work so hard for nothing. I always question what am I working so hard for, and I do now see it as my identity. So I do have to stop that.
Yeah. To me in the past couple years I’ve really had moments of comparison to my peers and realized this isn’t what I want but you work hard to keep up with the joneses. Now this has really disenfranchised me and to go in knowing everything is micro scrutinized is the worst feeling. To put it bluntly they’re documenting you with the intent of wanting you to fail. My values have been based on trust and this has shattered me completely. I’ve confided in a few people what’s going on and they feel badly because they know I’m good at a certain subset of skills. But anyway, I’ll have to play this out, and take it a step at a time. If it requires stress leave in between so be it. Corporate life I’m seeing can be tough. I just want to truly help people and make a difference.