[Locke]

So I'll re-tell this one because it was originally told in another thread.

But once upon a time in a Magical Land of Diesel fumes and cigarette smoke there lived a humble University Student who became solemn and jaded with the fortunes of life and school while having to load the Local North Greyhound Bus that stopped at every podunk little town.

But then one day a miracle was brought upon him! It was a giant Orange bag guarded only by the merest of luggage-locks!

So that gallant and steadfast student used a butter-knife forged from Mjolnir to open that lock and fulfill his DESTINY!

Yes! Thats right! He was going to load his Bus (as well as unload others) dressed in the A&W Bear costume.

Jesus that was hot...that thing was brutal. That costume is like being in an Iron Maiden inside of a Sauna.

So yeah, if you were at Greyhound in the mid-2000s and the A&W Bear loaded your bus? That wasn't a planned publicity stunt. That was just me screwing around because I was bored.

Now. Its important to note, and keep this in mind...,the 'ass-wiggle' is built into the suit. There is literally nothing you can do about it. That ass is going to wiggle.

I say this because...if you're not a Professional Mascot, you need to know these things. Especially if small children are around.

I am not saying that I smoked a small child in the mind with the A&W Bear's ass but I am legally obligated to state that I cannot state that I did not crank a small child in the mind with the A&W Bear's ass.

Albeit accidentally. I didn't mean to, but sometimes life throws you curveballs and you gotta keep your head up! Alright. I think we're legally kosher now.

I didn't build in that ass-wiggle! It was not my fault!

So while it looked like I was jauntily loading the Bus and having a grand old time, that was not the truth!

That suit is hot, miserable...you can barely see out of it and quite frankly the entire experience was pretty much a nightmare.

However! Who is to blame for that? Nobody made me do it, I just thought it would be funny.

It was probably the best part of the trip for the kids, and there were a few (Minus 1) that actually loved it! The rest of that trip was probably a horrendous slog unless they purloined some KFC.

Oh. And Greyhound got sued for that little stunt. The first of 2 A&W stunts I pulled.