[DoubleF]

I totally resonate with others who have posted about how dark things can feel mentally when it comes to finances and life in general. I felt that way from when the pandemic started until even earlier this year. Weighing your own value and existence to your family vs a life insurance payout is not a way to live.

Things are feeling good right now and I hope it's not just a temporary blip and this is a long term benefit for the mental side of things. I contribute this heavily to the fact decided this year I needed to go through a purge and focus a bit more on gratitude. Less is more.

Possessions are supposed to be a safety blanket and bring joy/satisfaction, but instead it felt like a prison and I had so much stuff it felt like it was metaphorically burying me alive. Somehow this ridding myself of stuff has made me feel more zen regarding my finances, even though objectively, I think my situation is on par if not worse than last year already (major work done on house 2x more than all of last year combined means more debt, mortgage renewal at higher rates, increased kid costs, increased inflation etc.).

I'm certain I've given away enough to fill a medium sized U haul and there's still so much stuff in my house. It just feels less like it's filled with clutter. I think I've unlocked enough space that I can start isolating messes into side rooms away from the main areas. I think this has helped a lot because it visually helps make me feel a little more like my house is my oasis vs another space of chaos, confusion that I cannot but should control... just like I feel about other environments like a work place. Seeing less mess helps to retain less or even (dare I say) relax when I get home. 1-3 hours to tidy the home top to bottom before guests come vs 4-6 hours over a few days is nice.

My wife and I might also be spending less money trying to get away from home? I'm unsure because I haven't tracked. But maybe activities wise, we spend time sorting, prepping and getting rid of stuff vs a restaurant meal, event tickets etc.? We also find things relating to projects that have been on the side burner for a while and we finish them. We also find that 3rd to 5th "spare" for items we could not find and had to buy a replacement for.

Another thing I started doing that I think has been huge for my own mental health is to be the cool adult to the elementary school aged me. In elementary school, I thought all adults were paragons of wisdom that had everything figured out. Hilariously, no. But pretending I am for young me has been good for my psyche. It's also not super expensive to be a cool adult for a young me. Things that were a treat to me in elementary school, I'll just randomly buy and snack on.

Gushers, fruit roll up, dunkaroos, lunchables, chips, pop, fruit cups, pizza pops, KD, jaw breakers, war heads, pixie sticks etc. Even though a bunch of them are kinda bleh to borderline disgusting to me now (ie: lunchables is an inferior charcuterie board or pizza kit) I still get them on occasion. I think it has helped me to appreciate how far I've come and feel less like I had a lacking childhood or something by catching up in this manner (honestly when I was down, I might have just unfairly painted everything with a #### brush, my childhood was pretty good IMO). Honestly speaking, many of these things I just take small bites and then share them to my 5 and 3 year old rather than eat myself. I do the same thing with certain activities. Take my kids on a small "hike" or walk at a green space and find a space to sit down and share a surprise snack and treat. Go to Calaway park/zoo/Telus sparks, taking a damn nap while the kids are watching a movie etc. To me, it is a little like a metaphorical "phantom limb release". Watching my kids enjoy inexpensive treats that we often could not afford when I was growing up helps to release any pent up frustration I might accumulate over the years regarding these memories when I look back and unfairly paint it with a #### brush. A better late than never sort of thing. Don't get me wrong, being a cool dude to myself is for me, not my kids, not a flex etc. But the more I am internally at ease, the better person I can be to them.

I think it's also far cheaper and just as satisfying as an activity than what I was doing before to address my stress. A $2-5 dollar snack or a $20-50 toy to go play with at a park, or $100 to restock a super snack container (lasts a few months between restocking) is far cheaper at an hourly rate than buying another $50-80 game, $200-400 piece of tech/toy or event/night out or more expensive endeavor/project to chase away the ennui of being an adult. That could be helping a ton in terms of almost always seeing my finances right on the line/a bit over of pay cheque to pay cheque (requiring tightening of the budget for the next month which adds stress) vs having a small regular few hundred dollar cushion I can accumulate for the months where I am right on the line or a bit over.

I'm not saying this is what others should do. I'm just saying I think these two things have been major factors in bringing me out of a dark place when thinking about my finances, which has helped me a lot when it comes to being a peace/optimistic with my situation vs being in a much mentally darker place about my situation these last few years. Like I said, I think I'm worse off than last year for finances because of things that came up, but I'll figure it out and get past it. Things should be a lot better in 5-6 years which should come faster than expected (how I feel now) vs it's so far away (how I felt).