I get what OP is saying. Feeling like I could be careless with my finances on occasion and be completely fine to going to scrutinizing the money I spent and still feeling like I live pay cheque to pay cheque sucks. Kids also amplified the finance strain a ton as well.
I had to totally change the way I looked at finances just to stay calm and ensure life didn't feel so hopeless.
Mortgage is a forced savings. Principal and equity is my money. My rainy day fund can't be idle cash and investments anymore. It's a HELOC or LOC.
I also refocused my finances. 10 years left on my mortgage. Short term pain, long term gain. Unlocking the mortgage cash flow will be huge.
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