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Old 04-13-2024, 11:22 PM   #93
Locke
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Titan2 View Post
All ####s and giggles.

What is the most near-offside activity someone tried to pay taxes for? Im thinking OnlyFans/bordello/etc.?
I didnt really respond to this so I wanted to circle back around to it.

I've been doing taxes for 20 years. This is actually 21 for me, so I've seen some things man ya know...I'm that guy with the 'Thousand Yard Stare' when it comes to taxes.

So the story I'll tell is, many, many years ago, when Mercury was in Retrograde and a much younger, much less cynical Locke was working for a Company, we had someone come in to get her taxes done.

She was a stripper.

Now. There is nothing inherently illegal or off-side about being a stripper. It is a perfectly cromulent profession, however, anyone who has ever worked for tips is hesitant to claim all of their tips.

Its simply an immutable law of nature.

Anyhoodles...this girl got a Boob-Job.

Now. Breast enhancements are largely not an eligible medical expense unless under very specific conditions as outlined by a physician who will expand upon that with a prescription and explanation, and in this young woman's case that was no different.

In the end however, we deducted said Boob-Job as a Business expense, as she...'Rented Pole' and no, I did not make that term up. It means that she was a 'contract' stripper who 'rented pole time' at various venues to make money.

Of course she got audited.

And I successfully argued to CRA that her mammary enhancements required a significant financial expenditure however they also aided in and increased her ability to generate Taxable revenue and as such they shouldnt be considered as an 'Elective Medical Expenditure' but rather as an 'Eligible Business Expense.'

And CRA agreed to that. The concurred.

And no, before anyone chimes in with the joke I've heard a million times, I did not require a 'Mandatory Inspection' of the expense in question.

I am a gentleman.

I did however generate considerable additional business after that based on referrals.

Still a Gentleman.
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